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Topic : Love Being Single

Number of Replies: 393
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:07:56 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you single and loving it? Share your story with other happy singles!

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July 22, 2006, 12:53 pm CDT

The Real Issue

Quote From: miina45

my singleness is not so much a choice but a necessity, but that does not mean I don't love it! 

I have never had so much fun together as I do when I'm alone. I was never happy when I was living with someone, I was depressed and I ate to cover the emptiness inside. When I finally got lucky enough to be left alone, my life changed. I don't think I ever want to be with someone, no I think its best to use men only for sex and breeding, I mean that's what they really are good for, I don't see why we cant just keep then in pens or something and take them out when we need some heavy lifting done 

Unfortunately the real problem you are facing is with yourself.  It's fine if you are happy being alone and its great that being alone helped you to change your life.  However, what you are neglecting to realize is that men didn't cause you to be unhappy.  That particual person caused you to be unhappy and you chose food to make you happy.  Not all men are the same.  I too was in a relationship with someone who did not make me happy.  If anything he made me sad and depressed and I forgot who I was.  I turned to TV and eating as well.  But now that I've moved on and have gotten my life in order I have realized that not all guys are like that.    

   

Guys are good for a lot more things than sex and breeding, and heavy lifting.  But in order to understand that you have to understand why you have such a hatred toward men.  I've watched a lot of Dr. Phil and it sounds like this is something that has to do with your childhood or your past which you should deal with because once you've given up on men completely, then you'll start to blame things on other aspects in your life.  Your friends, your job, your situation, you won't really get to the root of the problem.  Just like yin and yang, men compliment women and vice versa.  Everything has a balance in the universe.  Men are here for a reason and its not sex, breeding, and heavy lifting.    

   

You should see professional help and you should learn to appreciate people for who they are and not their sex.  You don't need to look at men in the "dating" aspect all the time either.  They can actually be great friends who can help you through a lot.  My advice is for you to get help and get it soon.  

 
July 22, 2006, 12:59 pm CDT

Good Theory

Quote From: kwelch3979

I feel like we're being paired off so we won't be competition to the person trying to set us up or when they ask you "the question" (So when are you getting married?). I kid you not, it's like singles are heat seeking missles and must be diverted away from any targets (spouses, significant others, you name it...)  

  

Just a random moment of silliness...  

I can agree with you and also the person who said about our female friends want us to be in the same tired routine as they are. 

  

It is amazing the jealousy of significant others.  I work at a lumber company.  Which is a male dominated place.  We have guys whos girlfriends and wifes call EVERY day at all break times to check up on their boyfriends/husbands.  It's crazy. 

  

Just because we are single doesn't mean we want your man. 

 
July 22, 2006, 1:10 pm CDT

Having the same problem

Quote From: skwirl

Ive' been married most of my life (3 times to be exact), and now all I want to do is date and have a good time without feeling obligated. My problem is everyone I date seems to start getting possesive. I hate this because it makes me feel bad and I don't want to hurt their feelings. I guess I bring it on myself by spending so much time with them, but I'm just lonely and want someone to do stuff with! Why's it always gotta be a serious relationship? I thought guys liked that crap! Well, not the ones I'm dating! It makes me feel guilty and selfish. I keep telling them not to get too close to me, cuz I ain't ready for that crap! But they go and do it anyway. Wish I had this problem a few years ago! LOL! My problem is, even though I'm not in love with these guys, I've become quite attached and do care about them. I could tell that they were in deeper than I was, so I sat them down and told them exactly where I stand at this time in my life, and they said they understood and still wanted to see me. I figure they are big boys, they can make the decision themselves as to wether or not they still want to see me, as long as I am up-front and honest. It don't seem to be workin' for me! LOL! I can't stand to hurt someone that I care about, but I'm doing it anyway. Any advice? Do you think it's all about the challenge for them or something? Kinda like you want what you can't have or something? I dunno. What's up with that?

I can honestly say that I end up in the same situations.  I am happy being single.  I have a lot going on in my life and I'm having fun getting myself in gear and where I want to be.  But what happens is I meet guys and the next thing I know they are calling themselves my boyfriend and talking about moving in together.  Granted the area I live in is like that.  People meet and move in together two weeks later.  But I have to tell them that I'm not looking for a serious relationship and I want to still hang out with them but not in a serious relationship way.  Most just take it as I'm "breaking up" with them.  Others are cool about it.  But either way it seems like after you tell them that they just don't want to hang out anymore becauise there is, as many guys have put it, "No chance." 

  

So to you, I say keep up what you're doing.  you're being up front and honest and if they don't understand what, "No serious relationships." means, than it is their problem and they can't blame you for it.  It's kind like a disclaimer on a contract. Give them a form that states, "No responsible for broken hearts."  That should do the trick (LOL). 

 
July 25, 2006, 6:54 pm CDT

caught by an octopus

Quote From: skwirl

Ive' been married most of my life (3 times to be exact), and now all I want to do is date and have a good time without feeling obligated. My problem is everyone I date seems to start getting possesive. I hate this because it makes me feel bad and I don't want to hurt their feelings. I guess I bring it on myself by spending so much time with them, but I'm just lonely and want someone to do stuff with! Why's it always gotta be a serious relationship? I thought guys liked that crap! Well, not the ones I'm dating! It makes me feel guilty and selfish. I keep telling them not to get too close to me, cuz I ain't ready for that crap! But they go and do it anyway. Wish I had this problem a few years ago! LOL! My problem is, even though I'm not in love with these guys, I've become quite attached and do care about them. I could tell that they were in deeper than I was, so I sat them down and told them exactly where I stand at this time in my life, and they said they understood and still wanted to see me. I figure they are big boys, they can make the decision themselves as to wether or not they still want to see me, as long as I am up-front and honest. It don't seem to be workin' for me! LOL! I can't stand to hurt someone that I care about, but I'm doing it anyway. Any advice? Do you think it's all about the challenge for them or something? Kinda like you want what you can't have or something? I dunno. What's up with that?
Well sweety, that's why you need to hang out with me *lol*. This post could have been from me, just with reversed sexes. I know what you are talking about... You go out 3 times with them to have fun, but they start looking for bridesmaids, checking out wedding dresses, and pondering about the guest list ;-) And when you talk to them that you are not ready, they tell you they understand, but cling even closer to you like an octupus with its prey. Honey, there are many girls and guys who have no dates, while we have too many opportunities. I guess we shouldn't be so selfish and share.... *smirk*.
 
July 25, 2006, 6:58 pm CDT

happiness attracts

Quote From: coni_marie

I can honestly say that I end up in the same situations.  I am happy being single.  I have a lot going on in my life and I'm having fun getting myself in gear and where I want to be.  But what happens is I meet guys and the next thing I know they are calling themselves my boyfriend and talking about moving in together.  Granted the area I live in is like that.  People meet and move in together two weeks later.  But I have to tell them that I'm not looking for a serious relationship and I want to still hang out with them but not in a serious relationship way.  Most just take it as I'm "breaking up" with them.  Others are cool about it.  But either way it seems like after you tell them that they just don't want to hang out anymore becauise there is, as many guys have put it, "No chance." 

  

So to you, I say keep up what you're doing.  you're being up front and honest and if they don't understand what, "No serious relationships." means, than it is their problem and they can't blame you for it.  It's kind like a disclaimer on a contract. Give them a form that states, "No responsible for broken hearts."  That should do the trick (LOL). 

Well, I guess we are more attractive, because we are ultimately happy with our single life. The more you want it, the less you get it - and the less you want it, the more you get it.
 
July 25, 2006, 7:03 pm CDT

relax

Quote From: motherluv1

I was married for 25 years, separated for 2, divorced for 4 months and am way ready to date again. In fact, I have an interest in a fellow, 5 years younger, who I will be going out with - what should I know or do or whatever?  Any advice on dating, as I am OUT OF THE LOOP big time?  How about sex - yes I do look forward to that too!
Gee, relax! Don't get caught in the pressure and frustration of dating like so many others. Just "hang out" with the guy, have some fun, and see where it goes.
 
July 25, 2006, 7:05 pm CDT

it depends

Quote From: kellyrh

I am a divorced mother of two. i have started dating a man MUCH younger man than me. He too, has two children, with his wife being deceased. I am having fun and am very happy - he states the same - with the age difference not being an issue. Should I end the dating because of our age? I believe that there would be no future between us, but the present is all I need and want for the moment. Any advise?
 If you both agree that there is no future, continue and enjoy the moment. If he, however, believes ina common future you should end it, because otherwise you will hurt him.
 
July 26, 2006, 6:29 pm CDT

Love Being Single

Quote From: sunnywulf

Well sweety, that's why you need to hang out with me *lol*. This post could have been from me, just with reversed sexes. I know what you are talking about... You go out 3 times with them to have fun, but they start looking for bridesmaids, checking out wedding dresses, and pondering about the guest list ;-) And when you talk to them that you are not ready, they tell you they understand, but cling even closer to you like an octupus with its prey. Honey, there are many girls and guys who have no dates, while we have too many opportunities. I guess we shouldn't be so selfish and share.... *smirk*.
Lmao!!! You soooo know I wanted to hang out with you but you ended up with my fat, old man, hairy backed truckdriver  neighbor, licking cream off his tattoo! Not a good start for our relationship sunny, not good at all! :(
 
July 26, 2006, 6:45 pm CDT

Love Being Single

Quote From: coni_marie

I can honestly say that I end up in the same situations.  I am happy being single.  I have a lot going on in my life and I'm having fun getting myself in gear and where I want to be.  But what happens is I meet guys and the next thing I know they are calling themselves my boyfriend and talking about moving in together.  Granted the area I live in is like that.  People meet and move in together two weeks later.  But I have to tell them that I'm not looking for a serious relationship and I want to still hang out with them but not in a serious relationship way.  Most just take it as I'm "breaking up" with them.  Others are cool about it.  But either way it seems like after you tell them that they just don't want to hang out anymore becauise there is, as many guys have put it, "No chance." 

  

So to you, I say keep up what you're doing.  you're being up front and honest and if they don't understand what, "No serious relationships." means, than it is their problem and they can't blame you for it.  It's kind like a disclaimer on a contract. Give them a form that states, "No responsible for broken hearts."  That should do the trick (LOL). 

Thanks girl! I say, be upfront and honest, and just take one day at a time.
 
July 28, 2006, 10:52 am CDT

Married 3 times?

Quote From: sunnywulf

Well sweety, that's why you need to hang out with me *lol*. This post could have been from me, just with reversed sexes. I know what you are talking about... You go out 3 times with them to have fun, but they start looking for bridesmaids, checking out wedding dresses, and pondering about the guest list ;-) And when you talk to them that you are not ready, they tell you they understand, but cling even closer to you like an octupus with its prey. Honey, there are many girls and guys who have no dates, while we have too many opportunities. I guess we shouldn't be so selfish and share.... *smirk*.
why on earth would someone want to be married three times?  i don't understand people like you who feel the need to keep getting married and married over and over again.  that's ridiculous.
 
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