Topic : Breaking Up

Hi all,

My ex common law husband for 4 years and me had a 6 yrs. old daughter.  During those time of separation, we were off and on until last time was December 2004.  He had dated here and there and had a girlfriend in 2004 but only lasts 5 months.  He introduced our daughter to this girl only once.  After that girl, he dated another one that only lasts 3 months.  He came back to me and got back together again but only lasts for not even 2 weeks.  After a month he started seeing a new girl and already started exposing our daughter to her.  They are still together and both been spending time with my daughter sometime every other weekend when my daughter is with him. I overheard on his voice mail messages that this girl is already saying I love you to him.  I know it is not illegal for him to expose my daughter to her..but it's making me really angry.  I wanted to know this girl so I know who my daughter is spending time with when she is with her dad but he would not introduce her to me.  He already introduce her to her family but not to me.  Am I entitled to know or for him to introduce to me to his girlfriend or is this out of my business? 

do you not trust your husband?...unless you think she is a serious threat to your daughter, I dont see the problem...and in fact, it is better that they meet than wait until their relationship is more serious and then meets her...and why are you listening to your husbands emails?  He has found someone new, and as hard as that may be to accept, you have to learn to deal with.  If I met someone new who I really loved, and it sounds like he may, the last thing I would want is for my ex to meet her after such a short time together.  I would let your husband decide on when the daughter can meet new girls...I would definitely refrain from making the decision myself.

you need to give up on controlling him.  you probably couldn't control him when you where with him, so what makes you think you can control him now?  get a darn life.  it doesn't sound like he is doing anything wrong to me.  he is moving on with life and you should try doing the same thing.  how did you hear his voicemail?  are you such a control freak that you hack his voicemail and email and ....?  no wonder he doesn't want you to meet her.

Hi there,

I have been in a relationship for 3 years with a guy that I absolutely love with all of my heart. He is the type of guy that every girl wants to bring home to mom. He is loving, trustworthy, loyal and would do anything for me. I know I'm truly blessed.  However, recently I have been having second thoughts about our relationship and I don't know exactly why. I think maybe it has to do with something like I'm nervous about our future and where we're headed because I've never really been with anyone else and therefore I'm afraid of making some mistake. I also have had the urge to become single and want to be with other guys. Mostly one other guy in particular who is the total opposite of my guy, he is more dangerous, passionate, a bad guy if you will. And I've never been attracted to anyone like that ever until I met him and I can't stop thinking about him. And a few weeks ago I ended up getting stupidly drunk (I know this is not an excuse) and I ended up having sex with him, and it was amazing, although I'm paying for my grief now.

So I guess my question to you would be to ask for your advice, I am only 20 years old, I knwo that is very young, I do love my boyfriend with all of my heart and his family and I can picture our lives together, but I can't stop thinking about this "bad boy" who does have a good heart and tells me that he cares about me.

I don't know what to do, I'm lost. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

pregnant and alone

It is always hard to break up but even worse when you have children with someone.  Is sounds to me like he is not coming back...he got a job and found a church...and you need closure from him.  You need to hear from him it is.  The difficult part is that he may not give you that closure.  He may think that if he does not then you won't move on and when he wants to come back he can.  you need to kich him to the curb.  He sounds like you can find someone better....he cant even tell you he is leaving and just doesm, he misses his sons first birthday and knows how much pain he is causing you and does not seem to care much.  Is your family around?  This will be a tough pregnancy and even harder delivery and yet harder to care for two children under two.  you will need to support of someone...either family or friends or even a church...to help you get through this.  Don't ever forget that you can get through this and you will because your children need YOU.  they truely love you and you should start collecting some child support from him because you may need to money too.

I have had an off and on relationship with a guy for about three years.  We had broken up in the beginning of the year after he went through a personal trajedy and withdrew from me. in June he came back begging asking for another chance and he made a mistake.  Since then we have been trying to make it work, but my mistrust of him that he may leave again is taking a toll and may ruin us for good.  I am having a hard time getting over him hurting me but I don't want to lose him again.  I can feel myself pushing him away and recently he has told me that it is getting to him and he feels I will never get over what has happened.  I have put a lot of doubt in his mind.  I don't want to lose him again and I know that he doesn't want to lose me, but there is a big wall between the two of us that is very difficult to breakdown. 

Even if two people love each other very much, is that enough????????

Please give me some advice, I don't know what to do next!!!!

Things were like that with my ex fiance.  I'm surprised I've incountered someone with the same question I had almost 6 months ago...

We loved each other so much, but yet, certain things would push us away from one another.  I myself would say, that love isn't enough.  We are now seperated because despite the fact that we still love each other, we just couldn't get past certain problems.  I hope everything works out well for you two.