Message Boards

Topic : Sex

Number of Replies: 1104
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:03:20 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you getting enough? Maintaining the sizzle? Or just too tired to even think about it?

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

March 21, 2008, 4:21 pm CDT

Is sixty five to old to have sex!

I am so sorry to hear so many women who are not getting enough sex. I thought I had problems with only getting it once a month or so. A year without sex and I think I just might die. I could have sex almost every other day if I could. The lack of sex and affection in my life causes me to drink. My husband hates my drinking and so do I. We fight about sex more than anything else. He has viagra but he seldom uses it because he is afraid of side affects. The first time he used it the next day he went to the hospital ER complaining of chest pain, he has. He is sixty five, I am 54 is that to old to have sex? I am turning into a night time drunk and sometimes I feel dirty because so many women hate it and Iove it. Is there sex after 50????And what could possibly be werong with wanting sex with the man I love. I feel he is punishing me. I get really mean when I am horny and say terrible things to him. I have even wondered if he is gay.
 
March 22, 2008, 1:58 pm CDT

Sex

Quote From: sewtuffinc

I am so sorry to hear so many women who are not getting enough sex. I thought I had problems with only getting it once a month or so. A year without sex and I think I just might die. I could have sex almost every other day if I could. The lack of sex and affection in my life causes me to drink. My husband hates my drinking and so do I. We fight about sex more than anything else. He has viagra but he seldom uses it because he is afraid of side affects. The first time he used it the next day he went to the hospital ER complaining of chest pain, he has. He is sixty five, I am 54 is that to old to have sex? I am turning into a night time drunk and sometimes I feel dirty because so many women hate it and Iove it. Is there sex after 50????And what could possibly be werong with wanting sex with the man I love. I feel he is punishing me. I get really mean when I am horny and say terrible things to him. I have even wondered if he is gay.
I am going to be completely honest with you.

I read two things in this post.

1-You blame your drinking on lack of sex. While the lack of sex may make you feel a certain way and you use alcohol to ease those emotions, it is not forced on you. YOU choose to drink.

2-Your husband isn't being overly paranoid. He has health issues with taking Viagra. He is probably afraid it will kill him or nearly kill him. That is legitimate.

Your need for sex is legit too. Don't get me wrong. Your husband and you will have to come up with some kind of sexual alternative, OR you will have to speak to him about finding someone else as a sex partner. Maybe you need to learn to masturbate. Or maybe he can hold you while you masturbate if it is the affection you feel is missing. Or he can use a toy on you.

Male or not, if a man feels like he is being used for sex or abused to get it then he may begin to resent affection all together. I know, I know, we are supposed to believe that all men are WILD about sex and all women are not...however, that is simply not true. Many men are very sensitive and emotional and that includes with sex.

Look at this from his point of view, it's very like that he feels you are punishing him with your drinking when you don't get sex, or that you are willing to put his health in jeopardy to get it! That isn't the kind of person you WANT to be affectionate towards or would want to make love to.


 
March 25, 2008, 7:26 am CDT

Someone I can finally relate to

Quote From: chesney123

 hey don't get discouraged why don't you try creating a romantic evening for two whether it be a romantic dinner of his favorites or a bubble bath for two with candles and strawberries or why don't you do a striptease just for him to turn him on men are visual people he sounds like quite a man it is so awesome that he helps out i wish tell him or better show him what you want the joy of sex book may help or mabye even kama sutra if you are really feeling adventerous if you have no kids then you should be like rabbits be more spontaneous answer the door naked be his eye candy mabye he just needs more direction hope this helps sweetie hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband and I have been married a little over a year. We married on Valentines Day too, the "most romantic day of the year" Yeah Right. Before we married it was everyday ( He got satisfied, I didn't ) Now, it's not even once a month anymore. I've done all the "talking" asking him if it was me? Is there someone else? and so on. I "communicated my frustration" on how when we do have sex that I need to be included in the orgasms too, and if he gets off to quick, this is what he can do. Also the position he likes is MOST UNCOMFORTABLE TO SAY THE LEAST adding insult to injury. And if one more person tells me size doesn't matter, I'm going to scream! Here's a clue you can't use something you don't have. I've tried the "roll playing" "the romantic dinners" "talking to him without threatening his manhood" and all of the above. What kills me even more is when he makes suggestions that he's in the mood, but come bed time, the only thing he's in the mood for is sleep. Then when he can't hold out any longer, and I refuse, because I know what's coming, he gets angry, makes snide remarks, pouts like a baby and throws a tantrum like a little kid. I too struggle with the fact that beside the lack of or no intimacy at all, he's a good man, he works, I stay home, he helps with the housework even thou I insist he not because he works, does the lawn, takes the kids fishing and so on. He scores a 100 in 99% of the categories of a good husband, but I'm so lonely and frustrated. I need a husband in every sense of the word. I have been married several times and cringe at the thought of putting my children through another divorce. I've read the suggestions, been there done that, now does anyone have any suggestions on what did work?
 
March 28, 2008, 3:21 pm CDT

bored in bed?

How in the world do you tell your husband that you are bored with sex......its the same thing every time, same foreplay, same positions, same everything........I want to try new things, and have attempted, but he is very uncomfortable and embarrassed by this. Somebody please tell me what to do.........Thanks
 
March 28, 2008, 4:02 pm CDT

Sex

Quote From: amyd911

How in the world do you tell your husband that you are bored with sex......its the same thing every time, same foreplay, same positions, same everything........I want to try new things, and have attempted, but he is very uncomfortable and embarrassed by this. Somebody please tell me what to do.........Thanks
Sounds like he needs to be tied to the bed and  be shown how to do a few things...LMFAO!

No but seriously...I would try talking about it during a nonsexual time. Like, while watching TV or driving in the car or something. If you have a relationship that is open and honest then you should be able to have a conversation about this. But be sure he knows you are not bored with HIM, just the sex positions.

Or you could just jump him in the shower, kiss him so long and hard he can't say no!
 
March 28, 2008, 9:50 pm CDT

Is viagra safe for men to use !

Quote From: sewtuffinc

I am so sorry to hear so many women who are not getting enough sex. I thought I had problems with only getting it once a month or so. A year without sex and I think I just might die. I could have sex almost every other day if I could. The lack of sex and affection in my life causes me to drink. My husband hates my drinking and so do I. We fight about sex more than anything else. He has viagra but he seldom uses it because he is afraid of side affects. The first time he used it the next day he went to the hospital ER complaining of chest pain, he has. He is sixty five, I am 54 is that to old to have sex? I am turning into a night time drunk and sometimes I feel dirty because so many women hate it and Iove it. Is there sex after 50????And what could possibly be werong with wanting sex with the man I love. I feel he is punishing me. I get really mean when I am horny and say terrible things to him. I have even wondered if he is gay.

     Someone responded to me that my husband has legitimate concerns about using Viagra to have sex.

And it makes me angry, I know he could have a heart attack but he could also get hit by a mac truck!  He only needs to use a third of a tablet once every week or two. I think the damage it has cost this relationship is more toxic and dangerous than a third of a tablet of Viagra two or three times a month.

    

 
March 28, 2008, 10:05 pm CDT

Viagra

Quote From: rainpainrain

I am going to be completely honest with you.

I read two things in this post.

1-You blame your drinking on lack of sex. While the lack of sex may make you feel a certain way and you use alcohol to ease those emotions, it is not forced on you. YOU choose to drink.

2-Your husband isn't being overly paranoid. He has health issues with taking Viagra. He is probably afraid it will kill him or nearly kill him. That is legitimate.

Your need for sex is legit too. Don't get me wrong. Your husband and you will have to come up with some kind of sexual alternative, OR you will have to speak to him about finding someone else as a sex partner. Maybe you need to learn to masturbate. Or maybe he can hold you while you masturbate if it is the affection you feel is missing. Or he can use a toy on you.

Male or not, if a man feels like he is being used for sex or abused to get it then he may begin to resent affection all together. I know, I know, we are supposed to believe that all men are WILD about sex and all women are not...however, that is simply not true. Many men are very sensitive and emotional and that includes with sex.

Look at this from his point of view, it's very like that he feels you are punishing him with your drinking when you don't get sex, or that you are willing to put his health in jeopardy to get it! That isn't the kind of person you WANT to be affectionate towards or would want to make love to.


     We did consult his Dr. He is healthier than I am. The damage he has done to this marriage over thirty years of either bad on no sex, has certainly been more damaging than a third of a pill once a week. I don't ask for much but I think it should be important to both of us not just to me! Sex once a week is not a lot to ask I am sorry, but I disagre with you. I could see it if he was taking an entire tablet. But he is not!  He is only pinching off it. I know because I watch his tablets very closely. I am not trying to kill him I am trying to save our marriage. Masturbation, sex toys, and other people are not options for either of us.
 
March 30, 2008, 5:39 pm CDT

Life without sex can be stress free

Quote From: sewtuffinc

I am so sorry to hear so many women who are not getting enough sex. I thought I had problems with only getting it once a month or so. A year without sex and I think I just might die. I could have sex almost every other day if I could. The lack of sex and affection in my life causes me to drink. My husband hates my drinking and so do I. We fight about sex more than anything else. He has viagra but he seldom uses it because he is afraid of side affects. The first time he used it the next day he went to the hospital ER complaining of chest pain, he has. He is sixty five, I am 54 is that to old to have sex? I am turning into a night time drunk and sometimes I feel dirty because so many women hate it and Iove it. Is there sex after 50????And what could possibly be werong with wanting sex with the man I love. I feel he is punishing me. I get really mean when I am horny and say terrible things to him. I have even wondered if he is gay.
I've been married going on 36 years, raised a wonderful daughter with her father. For the last 10yrs there has been no sex between us. We hold hands occasionally, we kiss good-bye. Sex was something he just lost interest in. We're 53 now, and I see no reason for it now. We tried to get therapy once and he wouldn't open up, so that was a lost cause. I now find other things to occupy my mind. I don't have to worry about how soft my skin feels if I'm tired. I don't have to feel bad if I wear sweats to bed if it gets cold. If I eat too much before bedtime, I don't have to worry about holding in my stomach. There are many good reasons not to have sex when you get to our age. I don't have to worry if I'm desirable, which seems to cause a lot of stress. He cares about helping disabled neighbors, his mother, family. So I know he is a good person. I've wondered too if he wasn't gay. I don't pin so much on sex. I think of him as disabled, and maybe he is. So move on, love him as you would your best friend. Excuse this one flaw. Sex isn't all its cracked up to be anyway unless you're trying for babies. It's a lot of work to keep it FRESH. Ask anyone.
 
March 31, 2008, 7:40 pm CDT

Sex

Quote From: sewtuffinc

     We did consult his Dr. He is healthier than I am. The damage he has done to this marriage over thirty years of either bad on no sex, has certainly been more damaging than a third of a pill once a week. I don't ask for much but I think it should be important to both of us not just to me! Sex once a week is not a lot to ask I am sorry, but I disagre with you. I could see it if he was taking an entire tablet. But he is not!  He is only pinching off it. I know because I watch his tablets very closely. I am not trying to kill him I am trying to save our marriage. Masturbation, sex toys, and other people are not options for either of us.
Well, sorry if I misunderstood. If he really is ok'd by a Dr to take the meds then I have no idea what to tell you.

You are against masturbation?
 
March 31, 2008, 11:11 pm CDT

Sex

Quote From: crazydogs

I've been married going on 36 years, raised a wonderful daughter with her father. For the last 10yrs there has been no sex between us. We hold hands occasionally, we kiss good-bye. Sex was something he just lost interest in. We're 53 now, and I see no reason for it now. We tried to get therapy once and he wouldn't open up, so that was a lost cause. I now find other things to occupy my mind. I don't have to worry about how soft my skin feels if I'm tired. I don't have to feel bad if I wear sweats to bed if it gets cold. If I eat too much before bedtime, I don't have to worry about holding in my stomach. There are many good reasons not to have sex when you get to our age. I don't have to worry if I'm desirable, which seems to cause a lot of stress. He cares about helping disabled neighbors, his mother, family. So I know he is a good person. I've wondered too if he wasn't gay. I don't pin so much on sex. I think of him as disabled, and maybe he is. So move on, love him as you would your best friend. Excuse this one flaw. Sex isn't all its cracked up to be anyway unless you're trying for babies. It's a lot of work to keep it FRESH. Ask anyone.
While that might be true for you that isn't true for everyone and from everything I have ever read it's not true for MOST people.

Most people do want to have a sex life, and being in your 50's isn't as old as you are making it out to be! My goodness! I know a LOT of people in their 50's who feel sex has new meaning and freedom. They have the house to themselves again, they are past silly superficial worries that hang people up in their 20's.

No offense meant, but you have been married for 36 years and you still feel the need to suck in your gut or having perfectly soft skin? I have been married just under 9 years and I am past that...our sex life has evolved past those things and it's more about connecting our bodies and experiencing a physical culmination of joy. And we do that when I have hairy legs sometimes! LOL

It's not right to belittle sex just because you don't enjoy it. And for goodness sakes! You are only 53! Not 89!!!!
 
First | Prev | 99 | 100 | 101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | 105 | 106 | 107 | 108 | Next | Last