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Topic : Sex

Number of Replies: 1104
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:03:20 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you getting enough? Maintaining the sizzle? Or just too tired to even think about it?

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November 14, 2007, 6:34 am CST

sex

Could my husband be gay? Well I have been married for a year and a half now. I am in a sexless marriage we have sex only twice a month and when we do it feels discusting. I started feeling this way after I started having feelings he was gay/ bi whatever. After we were married I moved in with him and started to browse the interenet on his computer now ours. I was sending emails for jobs and so a message popped up I thought it was for me so I opened it and it was a man laying across the bed with just boxers on. The sender had sent it directly to my husband's email. Then another thing happened at Marshall's two gay guys (it was obvious) was walking towards us my husband mumbled under his breath "I hope they do not see me". I asked why he said that he said "what straight man wants a gay man looking at them". WHAT? Then after that we went to his jobs christmas party, and one of his guy co workers came up to him and what's up man who is this pretty lady your sister? He said no man my wife, the co worker said Oh I thought you were gay the rumor around the department is you are gay and that gay said it all night long. My husband did nothing to defend his self but say are you drunk. I do not know if I'm just crazy or need to let it go and trust him. I asked him if he had gay friends he said his bestfriend was gay but he disappeared years ago. Then I asked him if he was gay he said what makes you think that and if you say it again I will kill you. WHAT DO I DO? Sorry if words are mispelled.......
 
November 19, 2007, 9:47 am CST

He will kill you?

Quote From: tooconfused

Could my husband be gay? Well I have been married for a year and a half now. I am in a sexless marriage we have sex only twice a month and when we do it feels discusting. I started feeling this way after I started having feelings he was gay/ bi whatever. After we were married I moved in with him and started to browse the interenet on his computer now ours. I was sending emails for jobs and so a message popped up I thought it was for me so I opened it and it was a man laying across the bed with just boxers on. The sender had sent it directly to my husband's email. Then another thing happened at Marshall's two gay guys (it was obvious) was walking towards us my husband mumbled under his breath "I hope they do not see me". I asked why he said that he said "what straight man wants a gay man looking at them". WHAT? Then after that we went to his jobs christmas party, and one of his guy co workers came up to him and what's up man who is this pretty lady your sister? He said no man my wife, the co worker said Oh I thought you were gay the rumor around the department is you are gay and that gay said it all night long. My husband did nothing to defend his self but say are you drunk. I do not know if I'm just crazy or need to let it go and trust him. I asked him if he had gay friends he said his bestfriend was gay but he disappeared years ago. Then I asked him if he was gay he said what makes you think that and if you say it again I will kill you. WHAT DO I DO? Sorry if words are mispelled.......

Umm...if your husband threatened to kill you for asking him if he is gay, then why do you want to stay with him?  Don't take the threat lightly.  He may mean it.  The gay issue, although very important, takes a back seat to the threat, in my opinion.

 

Have you been to the gay husbands site I mentioned a few days ago?  It's gayhusbands.com.  You have mentioned so many signs and just trying to "let it go and trust him" would not be the thing to do.  I think you need answers, but they can be hard to get from these guys (the gay men who marry women).  Your husband sounds like he does not want anyone to find out he's gay (if he is).  Maybe he's protecting his job, his image, his social status, etc.  It's not your job to help him life a false life.  Try to find the truth, but I wouldn't be asking him again, considering his threat. 

 

Another thing--get tested for STIs--all of them.  You may have been exposed to a few things.  In the meantime, practice safe sex--condoms, etc.  Read up on STIs if you aren't familiar with protection, symptoms, etc. 

 

Take care.

 
November 22, 2007, 10:18 pm CST

I'm not pleased!

Sigh. This is so hard to deal with, considering that I'm 18 years old.

 

I've been going out with my boyfriend since I was 15 years old, and I would hate to admit it, but I hate the sex. I'm not pleased, at all! I love this guy to pieces, well most of the time. I sound so reassurring huh? =(

 

I've considered "breaking-up" with him multiple times, since he's a rather controlling person. I've had a few guys interested in me, and I intested in them as well. It's hard for me to admit it, but whatever spark we had just fizzled out after we started to have a physical relationship.

 

He's what our society would call "small" and I just don't have the heart to tell him! I do love him, even if I question it a lot. But all in all, I'm not a happy person. I've considered a "break" to him at least, but he freaked out, so I've never brought it up again.

 

I don't know what to do anymore! He's my security blanket, and it's kind of one of those things you don't want to lose. He's so sweet most of the time, but he's also an ass during others. I just don't know what to do anymore, because I really don't want to hurt him, but I just can't take it anymore.

 

I want more adventure, and I just don't know how to tell him that. I need pleasure! (I know it sounds shallow, but when only one person gets pleased... Sex just isn't fun!)Could someone help me?! I'm so clueless on what to do!

 

Sigh, Clueless.

 
December 5, 2007, 12:11 pm CST

I agree

Quote From: jaimie1974

It is not selfish to think about your own needs. From what you describe, sex isnt the only issue that you have in this relationship.
You said that youve suggested a break to him in the past and that he freaked out. Instead of suggesting a break, you need to say it like you mean it. You arent making a suggestion, you are stating a fact: you want to go your separate ways. Of course you dont want to hurt him; that would be cruel, and you arent that type of person. It is obvious that you are a caring person just by reading your post. However, breaking up with someone is going to hurt them, no matter how caring of a person you are. If this is the first man youve ever broken up with, it makes it even more difficult. My advice to you is to approach him and be straight-forward- say something like, I dont want to hurt you, but I need to tell you this; you and I need to go our separate ways. He might try to talk you out of it, maybe cry, perhaps even guilt you- but keep in mind how YOU feel. Let him know that you respect him, that you want him to have a healthy, happy life- but you dont feel happy in this relationship any longer and it is time for you to move on.
 
I agree with her message to you clueless. If you don't do it for yourself, you are not going to be happy. Staying in a relationship that you are not happy with is not good for you mentally, or physically. Altho it is really hard, you have to think of yourself and your happiness. If not, you will ALWAYS have that feeling inside you and the unhappiness will get worse, no matter how great you think he is, but you will always love him... he has been a big part of your life for a while now. It is hard, but sometimes relationships are meant for growth, not for stayin together. I wish you all the best in your decision tho. :) Rhonda
 
December 11, 2007, 10:56 pm CST

Clueless

 I'm 28 years old, married for two years.  I have an active sex life and a husband who wants to please me.  My problem is that I am clueless about getting an orgasm.  Yes, things feel good and i can enjoy it, but that's it.  I still try to initiate and show desire but I don't think I really care that much.  I've had some build up, and I've played it off has the real thing, but mostly because I feel like I am in over my head.  How can I not be so ignorant about sex, but it's not about being dirty? Any help?
 
January 2, 2008, 9:53 am CST

clueless

Quote From: jaimie1974

It is not selfish to think about your own needs. From what you describe, sex isnt the only issue that you have in this relationship.
You said that youve suggested a break to him in the past and that he freaked out. Instead of suggesting a break, you need to say it like you mean it. You arent making a suggestion, you are stating a fact: you want to go your separate ways. Of course you dont want to hurt him; that would be cruel, and you arent that type of person. It is obvious that you are a caring person just by reading your post. However, breaking up with someone is going to hurt them, no matter how caring of a person you are. If this is the first man youve ever broken up with, it makes it even more difficult. My advice to you is to approach him and be straight-forward- say something like, I dont want to hurt you, but I need to tell you this; you and I need to go our separate ways. He might try to talk you out of it, maybe cry, perhaps even guilt you- but keep in mind how YOU feel. Let him know that you respect him, that you want him to have a healthy, happy life- but you dont feel happy in this relationship any longer and it is time for you to move on.
 
You are a young girl.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  Sex is not everyhting you will find this out in time.  Just tell him that you want to break up and that is that.  Move on if he really cares he will be there as a friend only.  If he can't give you what you are asking for just leave it as that, and move on. The only suggestion I can give you is to find out who you are and what you like.  You can't make someone else happy until you are happy yourself.  You are the most important thing in your own life.  You need to write a list down of everything that you want in a relationship and be realistic.  Wait for that guy to come along, but it is ok date. 
 
January 8, 2008, 2:34 pm CST

Military wife looking for help

I have been married almost 9 years and when i try to talk to my husband about trying new things to help me he gets so mad.....I catch him trying to have cyber sex with other woman who are more prettier or more skinner....And i feel like i look nasty to him...I try to wearing things for him but he never payattion to me ...I just dont know what is wrong with me ....Am so inserce of my self and my body i dont even want to have sex....and when i tell him he says ur and i always tell u ...He hardly touched me.....Can anyone tell me what I did ???

 

 

 

Military wife looking for answers

 
January 10, 2008, 3:52 pm CST

disorientation

Well it s my first time on a public web, may be someone can help me to understand and regroup. I am very active woman - with my husband for 16 years - one daughter - for the last decade we may have sex once a year...may be...and even if I try many times to discuss about it and find out if I am the root of the problem, with years I kind of got used to it - until I found out he goes on porn internet, and have some kind of secrets messages on his voice mail, since I can t listen to it. .

I am 45 and I feel my world is falling appart... Will take any advise!

 
January 22, 2008, 12:07 pm CST

NO SEX

     My husband and I haven't had sex in almost 2 years, and only once to prior year.  So I have had sex once in the past 3 years.   He had an affair which ended just over 3 years ago.  At first  the lack of sex didn't bother me bacause I was so hurt over the cheating.  I have asked him about it a couple of times and he just said "it's not you".  So what can it be? 
 
January 22, 2008, 4:18 pm CST

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME

Quote From: chesney123

ok guys i need help i have been married for 16 years i have four beautiful children., for some unknown reason we havent' had sex for two months i feel so alone and ugly i have taken pretty good care of myself but this has really taken a beating out of my self confidence i confronted him about another woman and he keeps denying it but i have attempted a few times and no avail what do i do when he doesn't seem to want me anymore i have even tried wearing his favorite clothes he is very busy at work and doesn't seem to have the time i love him so much but i am really hurting that he doesn't seem to desire me anymore what do i do? please help me we have gone as long as six months before not having sex i know this isnt normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I have wen thru 5 pages of this discussion and is it just me or am I the only man here. It seems like women are having a hard time with there husbands. Its the opposite here. Maybe somebody can help me here. I have been married for 9 yrs (10 in April) and our sex life went from once a month the first year to once every other month and now.....well it was October of 2005 since the last time. Now she argues with me that "no,no we has sex in January last year". What the hell, now we are arguing over sex once a year. Here is a short story... I met her and it was really love at first sight (she is gorgeous) and a sweet woman. She was married previous to me, twice. The 2 older boys are from her first marriage and we have one together. What really gets me is that her 2nd husband abused her both verbally, mentally and phyasically, cheated on her, smoked pot all the time, yet she had sexy pictures made of her in lingerie trying to initiate sex, bought HIM flowers and even tried reading books. Now I have never abused this woman in anyway, although I have lied to her in the past and I have always admitted this. We have had our share of tough financial times and I have put on some weight. But yet I leave her small notes all the time, talk to her and be open, tell her how beautiful she is (daily) still buy her flowers, and cook all the time (I am abetter cook though,lol). So why is it that some scumbag had all the attention in the world but I get shafted. It makes me angry and so far it has killed and destroyed any self esteem I might have had. So somebody please tell me what I can do!

 

PS I tried the Dr Phil route but never heard back. I was dissappointed but I am sure there is a reason. 

 
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