Message Boards

Topic : Black Sheep of the Family?

Number of Replies: 213
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 11:44:09 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you the outcast in your family, the one NO one wants to talk about or even acknowledge? What makes you different or unique, and how does it affect others in your family? Share your story here.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 20, 2006, 9:23 pm CDT

more like a dark grey sheep...

My family is mostly what I like to call "Psycho Christians". They won't give anything even remotely a chance. You've heard "Don't judge a book by its cover" right? well that's what a lot of my family does. 95% of the things I like they absolutely cannot stand. I'm a Christian myself, but I'm not as crazy as they are about it. I love dragons, Anime, the tribal culture, the Native American culture, and the Asian culture. I'm curious about "New Age" and the paranormal. I have friends of all different religions, and are okay with it (at least most of them are). I have to hide and/or keep out of sight the things that I enjoy very much. My mom doesn't like a few of my friend choices because they're what she would call "bad kids", "gothic freaks", and "satan-worshipers" which is completely and utterly wrong. There's my popular, straight A's and B's, suck-up older sister...and then there's me...the B's, C's, D's, outcast middle child of three girls. Ex-caretaker of the youngest who's severely handicapped. yep. That's me. While my older sister went out with her friends, and stayed somewhere else every weekend, I had to get home immediately after school, stay home and take care of my younger sister while my parents went to work. Mom was never home, dad didn't care for my younger sister. So of course I'd turn out different I guess. I'm not really the black sheep....more like a dark grey sheep.
September 23, 2006, 10:09 am CDT

I'm Sick Of Being The Black Sheep!

Why are relationships so damned hard? It's harder when one has Asperger's Syndrome.   One sister says she can't talk now but she will call me back. She never does and I am very cheesed off. I am so sick of excuses. I am so cheesed off that I want to call her and say its NOT OK. If she won't answer, leave a message on her answering machine expressing how really cheesed off I am!   I think it's because Mum and one of my aunts have told her not to.   Mum told me once I never have any good points as all the bad points cancelled them out. I never went home for three years. She said to the above-mentioned sister, "I don't know what I've done to upset her." So I said to my sister that was a load of crap, but my sister didn't want to know back then. [Mum was told the emotional and verbal abuse must stop but she says she's done nothing wrong.]   Other rellos refuse to believe Mum is so verbally and emotionally abusive, or they just want to "get into a discussion about your mother".   Isn't social isolation a form of abuse?   I'm just so sick of all this crap but friends said there is nothing I can do about it as my rellos will never change.
September 29, 2006, 6:37 am CDT

Not my choice ,but still a black sheep!!!!

I never considered myself a black sheep but simply became one after picking the wrong man and then divorce my brothers made me out to be the black sheep they dont want anything to do with me I live this poor life raising my two boys 15 and 18 did it all by myself I have never done anything my brothers accused me of........ they live this "RITZY" life with their wifes that cheat on them , but that is ok, THEY GOT MONEY and so that makes me a poor no good looser........well I have not spoke to them in 8 years since MOM passed away.  I go on with my "POOR"life and they will  be the sorry ones ,because they lost a sister (one sister) only sister.where they can have many wifes. but that 's their choice....I came to a point that I don't care to ever see them again .

They never helped me ever since a little kid I always tended for myslf , they were abusive and did not care about me. now the tables are turned and when they gat old and dying I will not be there.

I am so angry at them and their wifes I'm speechless.One day maybe I would love to bring them to DR Phil show just to tell them off.

September 29, 2006, 10:56 am CDT

dont mind being black sheep

i'm 48 yrs. old. have 2 older brothers.  my sig.other passed away 5 yrs, ago, this coming oct. 6th.
 i am now living with his mom and his younger brother.
 they are more like "real" family than my own.
i've been "addicted?" to pain pills (or any pills that will give you a "buzz") off and on since i was 15 yrs. old. more on than off.
i've stolen pills just to get a buzz. i feel guilty about doing it, but it's like i cant stop.
been thru treatment before, actually just got out of treatment about a month ago, but went straight from there to psych floor of hopsital because of something i said in group therapy.
my life is really kinda screwed up. i dont believe i can ever stop taking pills totally, although i have tried to cut down.
 am on prozac and buspar, and elavil at bedtime if needed for sleep.
i dont know what to do. i met a guy online, who lives in canada. we've been talking for about 3 yrs. but just got "more serious" a few months ago. he has offered me a place to live with him. i really do like him, and i trust him. i'm just scared about leaving my family and friends (and yes, even the pets).  i dont know what to do.

October 2, 2006, 4:25 am CDT

Black Sheep!

I have always considered myself as the black sheep, mainly becuase I had a father who not only abused my physically as a child but mentally as an adult.  He even went as far as to leave me out of his will when he passed, and claimed I was not his daughter.  That is one reason I do believe anyone can overcome anything the choose to do so, I've never blammed my parents for any of the wrong turns I made in life, even though I had a child to a man I was not married to and left him when my son was 6 months old, nor my divorce from my 1st husband who abused me.  My sister(s) and brother have little to do with me, and I've only been close to my little sister, who was not raised by my father.  My mother is the greatest talk about a black sheep, she has had NO ONE, no family except for her 4 children, and has overcome a nightmare after being married to my father,  and being left without a father and mother (she has never laid eyes on her mother).  Her father too left her out of his will but acknowledge she was his daughter, if it was not for my great grandmother, aunt and uncle she would have been an orphan.  So anyone can be a black sheep what counts in life is what you do and the people who care about you are just around the corner.  Look around and stop blamming everyone sometimes there is more to life and happiness than family who turns their back on you. 

October 2, 2006, 8:49 am CDT

Middle Child

Im 29, married w/ 3 children, all boys. My parents divorced when I was 11, and thats when I notice I AM the black sheep of the family! I have an older sister and a younger brother. I relized this when my father would come to pick us up for the weekend and just take my brother not me. My sister was always gone w/ friends and never wanted to go , so that never bothered her, just me. Now my father and I are close but he still does things to hurt my feelings. My sister has 2 children and both my parents always have them but will NEVER keep mine. He will ask them to go places, like family get togethers and not invite me!! I ahve never been abused by anyone, so I count my lucky stars about that. Im just getting my feelings hurt a lot when my parents will do for my siblings and not me. Im defentatly not asking for any hand outs just want them to do the same for me as they do for them. I cant complain much I dont have a BAD life, just confused as to why I get treated different then my brother and sister.
October 2, 2006, 9:33 am CDT

Why does family hurts us the most?!

You know I feel like I don't know my family anymore. We've had a rough couple of years in my family. I try to be strong, but my strength is faltering. My mother passed away in June of 2005 and before the grief had a chance to settle my sister had her children put into foster care due to drug use. All I ever had was my mom and my sister. I don’t have any contact with my dad. I always felt like I had the “mother” role in my sister’s life because my mother had gotten in car accident that forever changed her when we were very young. Now before I’ve had a chance to deal with what has happened to my sister and her children another problem has come up in my life. All this has happened in the last year and a half. My uncle, who is also my godfather, has decided to disown me.


The reason is because I still speak to his ex-daughter-in-law. His son lives out of town and she called me and told me that my cousin (her ex-husband) had a baby with his new girlfriend. The reason she knew was because my cousin called her to pick up the kids because he was at the hospital waiting for his baby to be born. The whole pregnancy had been kept hush hush. My grandmother had to see that the new girlfriend pregnant before they told her. The baby was born on a Tuesday and on the following Friday I had told my aunt that the baby was born. Well then she told my grandmother. Well my uncle called my grandmother on that Sunday to tell her and well you guessed it . . . she already knew and apparently it was my fault and I had no right to tell her! Apparently they were not sure it was my cousin’s baby and wanted to go see the baby first before they said anything. He had my grandmother call me and say if I did not stop talking to his ex-daughter-in-law that I would lose him and his family. Well I was so hurt that first he would threaten me like that and secondly he had my grandmother do his talking for him, putting her in the middle!! I told my grandmother that wasn’t a big threat since I never heard from him and he never invited us to his gatherings. He wasn’t really apart of my life. The only time I really seen him and his family is on holidays. It was the fact that he even threatened me that really made me upset! Now I feel like an outsider. I’ve refused to go to any family gatherings and now with the holidays coming up then it’s already hard because my mom is not there to share it with me, but I don’t want to go because I don’t want to be around someone who feels like their life is better without me. Why should I got just to feel uncomfortable, but it’s my family, especially my children that get the short end of the stick. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m at my wits end! I open for suggestions.

October 2, 2006, 1:02 pm CDT

lonly when it comes to family

When it comes to someone being an outcast I see myself. Ive always been the one who was made to do the cleaning around the house and I was made to babysite. I couldnt do as I pleased. I was controlled as if my thoughts or anything didnt count. To top that off my true parents got devorced and I havent heard or seen my dad for about 6 years. Talk about a major stab in the heart. I try to make the best of my life to go day by day. I try to show the world I am someone and not just a house slave. I am also a great artist and im proud of myself. I will become great on day even if im alone.
October 2, 2006, 1:41 pm CDT

not our loss, it's theirs

  I am a married mother of three sons and have always been the "black sheep" in my family. as the middle of three gilrls i was the jan to their marcia and cindy. my oldest sister. whom is only 18 months older then myself. is my mother's favorite. and my youngest sister is legally blind so she was always molly-coddled although she actually can see. but is diagnosed with a defect called anaridia. i was the first to get married and have 3 beautiful sons. my younger sister has 4 daughters all with multiple handi-caps. so mom spends a lot of time helping her out. as she once purchased a trailor and lived within 50 feet of my parents. she is currently going through a divorce. so of course mom is helping her out all the time as they live within 30 mintes of each other now. my oldest sister had her first child 2 years ago and is expecting her 2nd son this december. it has been over 2 years  since my mother has seen her own grand-children. my husband and i live a little under 3 hours away which could be used as a somewhat excuse. except for the fact that my older sister lives in the very same town as my husband and our sons. and my mother comes to visit her at least 3 or 4 times a year. but never once calls me or my husband to come her to visit us and her three grandsons. my older sister's home is only about 20 minutes away from ours. so this hurts me very much. as we can't understand what we have done (much less our helpless sons) to deserve this sort of treatment. all i can tell myself to assauge myself is that it is her loss.

October 3, 2006, 12:28 am CDT

black sheep.......

 There is no easy way for me to admit this to myself but,I'm a stereotype black sheep. Middle child in a large family (4 real sibs,9 steps), goth,depressed,self mutilator,satanist trapped in a happy,yuppy,uptight christian family . I never conformed to my family's ideal "perfect child" ,I formed my own ideas and opinions at an early age. Even when my sibs failed to meet the familys standards for living(3 teen moms,3 hardcore drug addicts,2 huge criminal records,and 3 metal hospital commitments), they were still treated better then me (I was kicked out at  ages12,13,14,16, & 18). Now,I work two jobs,go to school,live a drug/alcohol free life,DON'T have a kid but because I "live in sin" with my boyfriend of 7 months,I'm still not worthy of their time/affection/love. Keep in mind I live with him because THEY kicked me out and I had NOWHERE else to go..............Any thoughts on how I could patch up my nonexistant relationship with the family?
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last