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Topic : Cheated On

Number of Replies: 5027
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Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:01:22 pm
Author : dataimport
If your partner's been unfaithful, find support here. General talk and debate about infidelity can be found in our Infidelity discussion.

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May 6, 2009, 11:05 am CDT


Quote From: redneon

I'm blind.... I never noticed the pic till now!!!!!???????????  mmmmMMMMMmmmmm


May 6, 2009, 1:28 pm CDT

Hey Red...

Quote From: manoman


I thought you would get a kick out of it...


When talking to someone, after awhile you do begin to wonder what they look like. It's a small picture, thank god. :-)))


Thanks for the...  "mmmMMMmmm"  I am going to take that as a compliment. LOL


About time for me to go home. Work... work me pretty hard today. LOL


Have a great day and I will talk / write to you later.  Brad



May 7, 2009, 7:14 am CDT

testing, testing-

Quote From: manoman

I have no doubt we all have had our share of similar experiences... 


Red has acknowledge to me that ALL men do not behave the same.  Just 62% of them do. LOL


I know being lied to, betrayed, cheated on, being told what you want to hear for their own agenda is just down right wrong, and to have the person you love and trusted the most to do it... Sheesh


And the more the person tried in that relationship will take even longer to recover. And if it has happened on all of their relationships, they may never be able to recover.  :-(   Very sad and my heart goes out to them.


I have been tested many times in my life... and I have to admit, a broken heart has been the tuffest one yet in my 51 years.  Sio I am sending all broken hearts "a get well soon" card. 









Have to agree, a broken heart is is one of the toughest tests or trials to go through.

My biggest breakthrough came when I realized that if most of my boyfriends and husbands cheated on me with other women, it may be because of something I was doing or not doing.

We all present ourselves in ways that get reactions  from others. If reactions are consistent, and I am the common denominator in each relationship, I need to start with myself if I want a different reaction next time.

To reaquaint myself with my authenticity was the most positve defining moment in my life. I stepped out of the victim role forever.

May 7, 2009, 7:21 am CDT

Have to chuckle here-

Quote From: redneon

Like Brad said, I don't think all men are jerks..only  I'm not blind, I was...but my eyes are wide open and will remain that way now for eternity... I think I'm done with men... time to be alone and since I like who I am and won't have to compromise on my convictions, I should get along just fine with me....:)

Red, I'm not trying to be antagonistic, but the amount of correspondence between you and manoman indicates that you are not exactly done with men.

And how can we be done with other gender ever? There's only 2 kinds of people in the world! You may be done with close relationships with the other gender though, I can see that.


Learning to get along with yourself is the most important lesson we have to learn in our time here. Too often we seek validation of self in the eyes of others, and that's usually why relationships crash and burn.

May 7, 2009, 7:25 am CDT

Old haunts-

Quote From: manoman

And a happy Monday to you...


I don't always write from the heart. :-)  I am human and have my moments of knee jerk reactions as well...


For grins I would like to share an experience I had over the weekend...  I worked all day Saturday out in the yard and was too tired afterwards to fix something to eat. So I cleaned myself up and went to dinner at my favorite tavern close to my house. As I was sitting there enjoying my beer, my X called me on my cell phone. When I saw her name on the caller ID, I rolled my eyes and shoved the phone back in my pocket, knowing that there was no emergency concerning my daughters. At the same time my youngest daughter happened to be working in the dinning area of the same tavern.  When my youngest daughter gets home that night from work she informs me that when my X called me, she was sitting in the no-smoking section of the same tavern, watching me the whole time. LOL 


My X still wants me to be her best friend. I can't be a friend with somebody I don't trust or respect. The things she did to me... I couldn't do to an enemy.  Sheesh.... 


My heart is in pain most of the time as well... exchanging thoughts and getting a cyber hug from you makes me feel much better too.


Thank you, and a heart felt hug back at you...



Man, you might want to find another favorite tavern....



May 7, 2009, 7:34 am CDT

How sad!

Quote From: redneon

Sorry I didn't get on line today before you left need internet at home...:) it was such a nice day today I did some raking and went for a walk.


I so enjoyed your story, I could picture it,, her sitting in the non smoking (are you guys still allowed to smoke outside your own home!!!) and you rolling your eyes and putting the phone in your pocket.. Didn't that send a big "flock off" message...good for you!  One for the good guys..


I have to say that I can run into any of my x's and still be civil and even have a coffee and chat and catch up. Except my childrens father..of course I havent' seen him in 25 yrs so that makes it real  But I guess I'm angry at how much he hurt his daughters not anything that he did to me. But its difficult to do that and have a relationship of any sorts when you have been deeply hurt.  So I understand where you are coming from in that department.


Since we are sharing chuckles I will relay my incident last Thursday.. I am raising my 7yr old grandson and when we got home from the school bus he had his nose in his DS playing a game.  Hubby's car had been sitting in the yard all day cause he went out of town with a co-worker.  I looked at his car and thought, how stupid I could of looked thru his car for his MC bill and see what activity there is on it.  You can tell I'm not a snoopy person by nature or I would of been out there going thru the car at 8 am instead of an hour before he was due


So I look at grandson and he is imersed in game so I don't say anything I just go out into the driveway and dig thru the car.  I was probably out there 1/2 hr max and was hurring so he wouldn't catch me. I found what I was looking for and went back into the house I can here GS on the phone saying "oh maybe thats my Nannie now" of course I ask who he is talking to and he says "911" !!!  I pick up the extension phone from the kitchen and explain to the dispatcher that I was his Nannie, safe and sound, she asked for my name and DOB to verify who I was and explained that GS couldn't find me in the house and was worried that something had happened to me.  I told the dispatcher that I was fine, just outside in the yard looking at the river (we had some flooding in the area) and apologized to her.  She said that she had dispatched a officer to our house and would cancel the call.  I thanked her and hung up.


He comes downstairs crying, all upset... of course then I felt terrible, and explained that he did the right thing, only he should of come outside and looked first before calling, and I should of told him I was going outside.  Now to tell you how disconnected hubby and I really are... he comes home 15 minutes after all this, I feed him supper, he showers and then comes into the livingroom where I am watching tv.  Of course about 2hours has gone by.  He says "did GS call 911 today" ?  I said yes, how did you know?  He tells me an officer called his cel phone on the way back to the city and he thought it was our soninlaw playing a tick on him..... then the officer tells him its ok, I had been found and hangs up.


Yeah, he was worried all right, he never called home to check on GS to see if I was ok or not...  the fairy tale has indeed ended.... lol


That teaches me for trying to be a snoop eh?  Well should run, gota get dinner going.. have a great evening Brad..((hugs))   Red

Red, I agree that there is a disconnect here.

Has it occurred to you that maybe your husband was waiting for you to mention the 911 call? I don't know you two so I'm not drawing any conclusions. The only other alternative to his behavior I can think of, besides what you said -that he just doesn't care-is that he was waiting for you to mention it first. Why, I have no idea.....just a thought.

May 7, 2009, 7:44 am CDT


Quote From: manoman

I like this story better than the 911.... for one, it had a happy ending. LOL


I have to say, some of my best stories / memories came from parenting...


It has been raining for the most part of 3 days now, but I have cut my grass 3 times already this year. The weeds are growing faster than anything else though. :-)


I plan to plant a few flowers this month... not to many though because I find myself watering them more than enjoying them.  Sheesh....


Walking is good for the soul, and it's healthy for you to, if you walk really fast.... you know, the one where you can look kind of funny doing it. LOL


Last nignt was a hoot...I had two people give me presents yesterday for no reason??? One was a Harley Davidson coffee cup from a fellow work employee and the other... My X stopped by last night and gave me a picture frame from NY with a picture of me in it from the last time I went there to meet a girlfriend I was seeing at that time in my life. I didn't know what to say to her except for  "Thank you very much".  Sheesh....


I am cilvil with my X for the kids sake... I just don't want to be friends with her. I have talked to my daughters about it mant times and they totally agree and understand.


Aw hugs... One of life's best medicines. My Mom was always a good hugger. :-) I hope you enjoyed your morning walk and have a great, great day. Thank you for the hug, I needed it, and I am smiling....





There may come a time when you have to explain to your ex exactly what you said here- that you are civil and friendly with her for the sake of your daughters, but have no wish to be friends with her.


It sounds like she has no idea how you feel, or that she feels guilty for the way you feel if she has an inkling. My ex was like this, until he caught the woman he ran off with in bed with another man. He called me, very broken up, and unburdened his guilt at what he had done to me because now he understood how I felt. Tears, anguish, the whole nine yards.

I had to tell him I was very sorry he had to learn this way, but I was not his friend and had no wish to be the shoulder he cried on.

May 7, 2009, 8:04 am CDT

A word to the wise-

Quote From: redneon

LOL, well at least you came back and gave me one... its the most of gotten in a long time...the one from on line...LOL


We just got rid of snow here last week for crips sake...and you are cutting grass!!! holly....

good luck with the planting,, I buy hanging plants every year and put them on the house... they always die,,,LOL  I get a month or so out of them and they look so nice... and yes I do water them..LOL  I knew what you were thinking! :)>


Me walking fast so I look funny,,, noooo I just walk at a nice pace, just incase I see some handsome man on the walking trail... I want to be able to take a nice long look ya know.. if I go to fast I would have to turn around and look at him going by...LOL  well I do that sometimes too,, so I can get a look at his but...*grin*


So what is with the presents, is it your BD and you didn't tell me?  I could of sung or something ya know *smile* Or are they suckin up for something... especially the x, like what the heck is that all about... she calls you at the taveren and then brings you a photo frame even after you roll your eyes and don't she suddenly single again and trying to weasel her way back in?  Oh are you shuddering at that thought.... I am...LOL


We listed the house tonight, agent says we want to much for the area..even though it is waterfront property..but if he is to get some $ and I am from the sale then we need a certain amount to move on... she didn't give us much hope... the whole thing is sad.  He is being nice to me the past couple of days... not sure what that is about but its kind of weird,,especially for him.. he even asked how my day was, I almost fell off my feet! LOL  Maybe theres a full moon coming or something eh?


Well I hope you have a good morning Brad, maybe the sun will shine tomorrow cause its leaving us and maybe heading your way...we are getting your rain overnite and then till Saturday..but nice for mothers day and my oldest daughters BD party all in one.  Maybe someone will take me out to dinner...pppffffttttt! Talk soon ((hugs))Red

Your husband may be nice to you lately because he senses a distractedness in you? When you no longer are broken hearted and making him the center of your focus and life, he may sense it and miss that attention.

On the other hand, maybe he is just relieved that you aren't carrying on and being dramatic? Don't know, as I don't know your habits. A word of caution though, a cheater will usually jump to the conclusion that YOU are cheating on them when your focus strays from them.....

May 7, 2009, 8:09 am CDT

Not ready to let go-

Quote From: manoman

I am as far south in Indiana you can get... right across the ohio river from Louisville, Kentucky. So are summer's comes earlier than you northerns.  


My hanging plants always die too so I gave them up...even though they do look nice. And yes you did know what I was thinking. That is the thing with women that has always baffled me. LOL  I did plant a few flowers yesterday on the front porch, I stopped by and visited my sister and she had some leftovers and gave them to me as a gift... I know another one.  :-)))


I don't know why my X did it... My sister thinks it's because she is use to me giving in to her and now I don't kind of thing... Or your right,  it's "sucking up". She knows I am a good handy man and probabley needs something done to her house. She's always wanting to do the bartering system with me. I keep telling her no thank you and to call your boyfriend for that.  


You look at men's but's.? Eew... LOL 


Stay the course on your property... To the right person the price will not be a problem. It will just take a little longer. I have sold 4 houses in my life time so have patience and believe. 


It's suppose to be nice this weekend... I have no plans except for a bike ride. I was able to keep my HD motorcycle through the divorce. That and music was my medicene.


Thank you for offering to sing to me...( grin )  I can't carry a tune in a bucket. 


I enjoy hearing from you, and I wish you a happy, healthy day. Write back anytime... Oh, I would take you to dinner if I could.


((hugs)) Brad





Man, your ex is still trying to control you through your emotions for her. Kudos to you that you don't allow it.

After reading this, that communication I mentioned earlier may have to be a blunt one.


Some people are slow learners.....

May 7, 2009, 8:35 am CDT

oh please

Quote From: ritehere

Red, I'm not trying to be antagonistic, but the amount of correspondence between you and manoman indicates that you are not exactly done with men.

And how can we be done with other gender ever? There's only 2 kinds of people in the world! You may be done with close relationships with the other gender though, I can see that.


Learning to get along with yourself is the most important lesson we have to learn in our time here. Too often we seek validation of self in the eyes of others, and that's usually why relationships crash and burn.

don't try to analyze me... I don't have to "learn" to get along with myself, I get along with me just fine now.  And how would talking to someone on a forum board mean that I haven't given up on men, if manoman had been a transvestite I still would of written back and forth because of what we were saying, not "who " was saying it to me...


And one can be done with the other gender if one wants to... my husbands x did, she left him for a woman! so, yes it can be

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