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Topic : Overcoming Grief

Number of Replies: 1337
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 04:53:58 pm
Author : dataimport
Grieving profound loss can be devastating, but it is a natural process. Share your grief with others and find support to help you recover.

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March 5, 2008, 11:14 am CST

Overcoming Grief

Quote From: iowagirl33

All i could do was cry when i read your message. your a beautiful person and a very strong woman. I dont know you our family but i will say daily prays for you. Dont give up PLEASE. I think the children could use so counsling. It really helped my son after his dad died. Alot of places will do it for free for the children.You are in my thoughts and prays.You and your husband are special people to take care of these children there really need you two right know. Time heals all woms. It will get better for all of you. Take one day at a time.

                         GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY

I am so sorry for you. You and your family are going through a terrible chain of events. This is the only advice I know to give you...hope you are not affended. You truely need some help and I want you to get that help. But pray to God for help. Be specific in exactly what you want and need. God wants us to turn our troubles to him and tell him what we are needing. If you have a minister, go talk to him, see if he is aware of any resources that may be of help to you. There has to be something.

 

I so hope I have not affended you...I do believe in God and I'm not trying toput  my beliefs on you....but I'm going through a very tough time my-self...and praying and talking to God is what is keeping me stable.

 

I hope the very best for you. I will say a prayer for you. I hope you get exactly what you need. Good luck and blessings to you!

 
March 5, 2008, 11:16 am CST

Overcoming Grief

Quote From: leslielp1970

I am so sorry for you. You and your family are going through a terrible chain of events. This is the only advice I know to give you...hope you are not affended. You truely need some help and I want you to get that help. But pray to God for help. Be specific in exactly what you want and need. God wants us to turn our troubles to him and tell him what we are needing. If you have a minister, go talk to him, see if he is aware of any resources that may be of help to you. There has to be something.

 

I so hope I have not affended you...I do believe in God and I'm not trying toput  my beliefs on you....but I'm going through a very tough time my-self...and praying and talking to God is what is keeping me stable.

 

I hope the very best for you. I will say a prayer for you. I hope you get exactly what you need. Good luck and blessings to you!

I see that I posted that incorrectly...so sorry about that.
 
March 5, 2008, 11:42 am CST

advice needed please

Quote From: carole01

I am 53yr old women and i've been battling ending it all for 10yrs since my husband died...i'm in debt, broke, live with my sister in a remote area, i have 2 grown children one i dont see due to her husband he's controlling i try , my son  is married but lives in another state his wife is depressed......

my sister offered a room , we havent lived together since we was children and its a strain sometimes.....for both of us..my brother in law also, rents so exspensive here i dont earn enough to cover it....i feel i was born to be unhappy, my mother tried to kill us when we was young and she suffers depression.....i've seen a doctor and he says i'm suffering post traumatic stress but he hasnt helped me, that was in the city a couple of years ago....i dont see any hope other than death for me, it seems like my only option...its a tiny outback town with no professionals here..i feel i've just made another mistake again since he died.....

when he died i became anerexic, then i married out of loneliness someone who threatened my life and has threatened to hunt me down for leaving.......and now i'm so depressed i barely function..i can see no way out anymore..my depression swells my joints and i have constant panic attacks........has anyone else been in the same place as i am could you give me some advice please i cant hold on much longer

You poor thing, I'm so sorry for you. You have got to find a doctor that can help you. I know that's not easy to do, but you have to. You are suffering from stress and depression, which chemically alters your body. You need to get that straightened out and that will get you feeling "better"....not good, better. But then you can work on you energy levels and get you in a better state of mind.

 

Think about what you WANT for your life now?! Just to be happy, find a new campanion...not like the one you found out of loneliness, of course, but someone that will love you and take care of you.

 

Honey you were not  born to be unhappy, I assure you that. You have to get strong and know that there is something out there for you....I promise there is. You pray to God and tell him, you are weak and that you need his help and tell him exactly what it is you want. A place of your own, a campanion, a better job, or simply to just be happy again. He will hear you. Please hang in there....when you are that down...I know it's hard...but please just try praying to God...really talk to him....HE WILL HELP YOU. What do you have to lose by trying. Please try. Don't give up on your-self.

 

This is not about me, it's about you....but I have been through some things, that I do not understand and hurt so much, I could barely deal with it and I got mad and blamed God.....MY BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER AND I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT UP TO HIM.....to this day, I still hurt and things in my life are  not  exactly the way I want.....BUT I AM OK,  I feel that there is hope, that things will be even better someday.

 

You've lost your hope....you have to get that back....THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU! I will pray for blessings for you! Hang in there, please!!!

 
March 10, 2008, 5:31 pm CDT

God my heart is heavy right now!

My heart hurt very much right now.   I am 65 years old, my father died 2 days before my birthday and it was sudden because of a stroke.  He died November 3 and the pain is still there deep in my heart.  I don't cry as much, but my heart still misses him.  He was 89 years old and I spoke to him EVERYDAY!  He was living in a very nice assisted living facility but took care of himself until the end.  I MISS HIM SO MUCH!  He was the last living person of his era.  His brother and sisters and most of his cousins were gone before him.  His best friend died about 9 years before him and I thought he was never going to stop grieving.  My mother died 11 years before and he never stopped "talking" to her...he missed her so much after nearly 50 years of marriage (she was actually my step-mother, but raised me and my sister and brother).

 

Now my very best friend in the world is loosing her battle with bone cancer and I don't know what I am going to do without her.  I talk with her daily even if it is only to say "HEY".  Today she asked me to read chapters from the Bible.  Some I read alone and some she tried to read a few verses and then we would read a verse alternately.  This is the first time she has requested this from me.  I know  I have to get my strength from God, but right now folks, MY HEART HURTS!!

 

I just had to get my sadness out...my heart is broken and sadden.  But this too shall pass and I know God will lead me through this painful time too.  So I ask you all out there to pray for me...MSSYLADY.

 

Thank you

 
March 26, 2008, 1:01 pm CDT

I am stuck too

Quote From: soccermom

I am a new member who is a 47 y.o. nurse who has found herself widowed for the 2nd time.  I was really broadsided by this one and I just can't seem to get through it!  I know I need to for myself and my 14 y.o. son, but there are too many memories and regrets that I can't seem to get past.  I have a married daughter and a son in the Marines, also.  Everyone seems to be moving on with their life except me.  I get up and go to work everyday, and take my son to school, but my life is stuck.  I miss my husband terribly.  The first few years of our marriage was pretty bad, but the last seven years of our twenty year marriage were the best of all.  I know that was God's way of giving me wonderful memories to keep with me forever instead of all the bad ones,  but that is also what makes it harder (or seems to).  It has been two years since he passed away, and I can't seem to get my life going again.  I miss the hand holding, the loving talks, the closeness, and the just being together.  The talking the day over after work, and the kids' sports activities.  Can anyone help? 

 I am a 59 y.o. nurse and lost my husband of 35 yrs. to a heart attack at home.  He died in my arms.  I see the image of it every day.  I have not returned to work yet, mainly because I have lost my confidence in my skills.  My heart and thoughts go out to you and to others who join us in this awful stuck place. I had a patient who knew his time was limited.  He said that if everyone would put their troubles in a pile, they would reach in and take their own back because they knew best how to deal with them.  This gives me comfort as I read what everyone has written on  these message boards.  I think many people feel that if you are a nurse grief doesn't hurt you as badly because you're A NURSE!  Well, we know what baloney that notion is!  I can only say that there is no timetable for grief, share your feelings as often as you can, get counselling,love yourself more and remember you are not alone and you are not crazy. Search in your community for grief groups.  Many Home Health and Hospices often have groups and it really helps to get it out and not stuff your feelings in as ALL nurses do.
 
March 28, 2008, 1:57 am CDT

Murder of Mathew Lawrence

I would really like Dr Phil to do a show on the murder of 15 yr old Mathew Lawrence who was murdered by a classmate because he was gay and asked to be his valentine.  There is a holy war being waged against LGBT people in this country because fundamental Christians mis-interpret the bible and use it as a weapon of discrimination.  I think Dr Phil can help save lives by doing a show on hate crimes like this.
 
April 4, 2008, 8:11 am CDT

My Heart Goes Out To All Those Grieving.

 

My whole family is grieving the untimely death of my 53 year old brother, who died in late November, 2006.  My 82 year old mother has a hole in her heart she cannot fill.  I resent some people in the family, who are placing a timetable as to how long she must grieve.  There isn't  a timetable.  Please keep in mind that the elderly take triple the time to get over a big loss like this.  My mother is from the old school.  Sure there are mothers who probably would get over this quick, then there are mothers who grieve & suffer endlessly.   I am giving my mother all the time she needs without pressure.  The best thing a grieving person can do is take time to grieve & don't hold it in.  Do not let anyone pressure you before you are ready.

 

 
April 12, 2008, 2:40 am CDT

Please Visit our Healing Website

Hi, 

  

An 86-year-old minister in Hamden, Conn., lost his wife of 61 years last Mother’s Day. To help him cope, he started to “talk” with her (earth-to-heaven communication, he calls it) and thus developed a method of feeling connected to a deceased loved one. Please visit the Rev. John Abbott’s website (http://earth-heaven.org/index.htm). Even if you don’t believe as he does, it’s an interesting site created by Abbott, who worked for years at the Connecticut Hospice – the first hospice in the nation. 

  

Thank you. 

 
April 16, 2008, 11:35 pm CDT

guilt

Quote From: conniedobe

On May 10, 2005 my 39 year old son comitted suicide.  He had been incarcerated for 9 months and was depressed and the jail would not give him his antidepressant drugs or his anxiety drugs.  Consequently he began to loose hope and hung himself.

 

I had spoken to him just 1 hour before the guards found him.  I had a strange feeling, but did nothing about it.

 

I feel very guilty for not notifying the authorities, but my son had often "cried wolf" so many times.

 

I'm having a very difficult coping with my guilt and most of the loss of my first born.

 

 

my step-dad shot himself on april 16, 91. that would be today. i have never really gotten over the guilt. i know now that hindsight is really 20/20. if i could go back i would, but i know i can't and if i did would i chonge things or just delay them? people say that suicide is a victimless crime, but the true victims of suicide are the ones left behind to deal with the guilt and the what ifs. you blame your self because you know you could have prevented this from happening this time. one thing i have learned is there would be a next time. would you be there then or feeling how you do now?

 

 

 

terry

 
April 25, 2008, 7:42 am CDT

Overcoming Grief

Quote From: conniedobe

On May 10, 2005 my 39 year old son comitted suicide.  He had been incarcerated for 9 months and was depressed and the jail would not give him his antidepressant drugs or his anxiety drugs.  Consequently he began to loose hope and hung himself.

 

I had spoken to him just 1 hour before the guards found him.  I had a strange feeling, but did nothing about it.

 

I feel very guilty for not notifying the authorities, but my son had often "cried wolf" so many times.

 

I'm having a very difficult coping with my guilt and most of the loss of my first born.

 

 

I am so sorry for your loss...I lost my 24 year old son to suicide on May 19, 2006.  He suffered from bi polar.  I understand your grief.   It hurts so much.

Hugs,

Pam

 
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