Message Boards

Topic : Sleep Issues

Number of Replies: 119
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 01:21:39 pm
Author : dataimport
Is your child afraid of monsters under the bed? Do you have a hard time getting them to stay in their bed at night or setting a regular bedtime? Do you have a bedwetter? Share advice and support with other parents of children with sleep issues.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

February 19, 2008, 8:21 pm CST

Re: Sleep Issues

Quote From: mommy99

My 6 year old daughter constantly wakes us up in the middle  of the night.  She wakes up screaming and will not go back to bed with out myself or my husband tucking her in again.  This has gone on for 2 months straight and i can't do it any more.  Please , if you have any advice write back. Thank you.


My husband and I have a similar situation but our 2 older children who are 8, 6, have been doing this for awhile. But what we have done is I let my husband get up and put them back to bed, and all. Usually this works. But there are times that we've woken up and they've gotten on the floor to sleep. Our oldest one is

used to being with us like that since he was little. We just try to keep putting them back in their bed, and most of the time they will stay in their own beds.


April 23, 2008, 3:28 pm CDT

Sleep Issues

Quote From: nanny777

My best friend still sleeps with her 7 year old daughter- I have been there for her through a terrible divorce these last few years. We watched Nanny 911 last year & I thought it was a perfect opportunity to discuss the topic of her daughter sleeping with her. Then we watched Dr Phil when they had a little girl on that had the same problem- but she had both parents. She used to mention to everyone that her daughter sleeps with her, but she did not notice the concerned looks they shot her. Her family and other friends had voiced their concern to me also. When we were watching Nanny 911- I remember how she was appalled when the mother slept with her kids & even took the baby out of his crib to sleep in bed with her. But my friend does the same thing! When we discussed her situation- she told me that they only had eachother & she saw nothing wrong with it. But after watching a few more shows, and I brought up the subject a few times she agreed that it might be time. Her childs 7th birthday was in April so we had months to prepare her. I helped encourage her to be a big girl on her birthday & sleep in her own bed. I started to see signs of resistance from the mother as soon as we went shopping to give her daughter a big girl room makeover with new bedding, etc. I could see she was anxious about it herself. She will never admit this though. The first birthday night, her daughter went to bed fine. I had set up the room all by myself for her since her mother said she was too busy to do it. Then the mother said that she could come in her room if she was scared or woke up. I disagreed with her- I thought she should comfort her but put her right back in her big girl bed. Well that was the beginning of an exhausting struggle I don't want to be a part of anymore. When I announced to her family that the girl was going to sleep in her own bed- they applauded! I even saw the 'big girl' proud of herself. But I saw how her mother was having a harder time than she was. She told me she was too busy & tired to be bothered putting her child in her own bed- that it was easier to just let her sleep with her. So then I went over EVERY NIGHT & tucked her in her own bed. I asked her in the morning how it went & they both said fine, but I sensed something was wrong. When I asked the child alone if everything was ok with her big girl bed, she told me how her mommy would come & get her every time after I left & bring her to bed with her. Not only was her mother discouraging her from sleeping in her own bed, she was encouraging her to & telling her daughter to pretend she was going to sleep in her own room until I left. She was teaching her child how to lie & I believe hinder her development. Her child still has a blankie and sucks her thumb. We just found out that she has to have extensive dental work because of this. I told her that if she slept in her own bed & had her own privacy & space- then her self esteem would be more positive & she would be a much more confident girl. Her mother disagrees. They are still very affectionate also. Her mother is constantly asking her daughter for hugs & kisses- the child is very clingy to her mother & it seems that the mother is using her daughter to fill her needs for a affection that she is missing from a spouse. It is now August 1st and it is still continuing. Her roommate told me that whenever I help tuck the child into bed, the mother will go in & say she is going to kiss her goodnight but ends up taking her to bed with her. I feel like I am wasting my time. Also I treasure our friendship and don't want it to suffer because of this. I have spent sooo much energy on helping her through this divorce- I love her & her daughter as if she was my own. I find myself filling the role her father once did- because my friend complains all the time about having to raise her child alone- I help her all I can. My friend is a teacher & is working on her masters at night. A new school year is starting. I told her it would actually be easier on her to give her daughter a bedtime so she is on a schedule & then she will have time for herself. That is another thing-my best friend refuses to spend any time alone. If her roommate is not home, she will pack a bag & spend the night at her parents house. Her mother has confided in me many times that she is unhappy about this. I don't want to get involved, but because of our dear friendship- I have found myself in the middle. I even suggested an allowance each week & drew up a list of chores with the child- everyone loved the idea- but the mother does not follow it-especially the part where she should sleep in her own bed. She still gives her the allowance even if she does not do the chores which include sleeping in her own bed. My best friend is now lying to me- saying her child will go to sleep in her bed but then comes in her room in the morning- She says she sees nothing wrong with that- but I have a key to her house & found myself actually going there to check on her! Everytime her daughter would be sleeping with  her & when I asked her about it they both would lie to me- not knowing I checked- I feel stupid for doing that & wasting my time- she is not even my daughter. Maybe I am out of line- but her mother asked me to help- and it breaks my heart when others talk about her behind her back-especially her family. Also- this 7 year old girl has recently been caught acting out sexually with her girl cousin when she visited her father. I saw her last night with her hands in her pants watching tv- I told her mother that this was normal for her age- and that is why she needs her own space to sleep in with privacy. Her mother disagreed with me & just asked her to come to her & gave her more hugs & kisses & called her 'her little baby'.  I don't have children- am I wrong to try to help this way?? I babysit for her almost daily & I never charge her a dime- I love this kid- I don't want to see her grow up & sleep with the first warm body that comes along because she does not want to sleep alone. But I think what has happened is making things worse- her mother makes me out to be the bad guy- so the little girl views sleeping with her mother as a Good thing or a reward. That defeats the whole purpose. She should WANT to sleep in her own bed- to feel proud & confident. Another reason I believe she should be in her own bed- her mother is starting to date. She is meeting people online. I don't want her to bring someone home & have her daughter in the bed also! And if she does have a man in her bed- and THEN she makes her child go to her own room- that is UNFAIR to the child & the child will resent them both! I have scoured articles online & emailed them to her- but she will open it and say "Blah  blah blah"- and delete it. I asked her mother today- "Do you believe it is ok for your daughter to sleep with you- if you think it is beneficial, then let me know so I can stop trying to help! She is YOUR daughter." My friend insists over & over that she does sleep in her own bed-which I know is untrue. . I TIVO Dr Phil EVERYDAY!! I love it! Please give me any advice!! Thanks so much!
April 27, 2008, 1:27 am CDT


Everyone talks about getting their kids to sleep, how do I get myself to sleep. Tried everything. CANT SLEEP. Now it is causing depression, pain in my joints, Brain fag. You name it. I haven't sleep more than 2 hours a night in 3 years. Is here any help out there?


May 21, 2008, 9:03 am CDT

Don't know what is going on

My 6 year old daughter does this weird thing in her sleep, when my husband is sick I will sleep in my daughter's room with her so that I do not get sick and not have to listen to his snoring all night nolng. I have noticed that when she is sleeping that she will sit up and sway in a circular motion or rock back and forth, sometimes she tips over and hits her head on the wall or will fall over on to me, she will also flip flop around so much that her head unds up at the foot of the bed and she kicks me in the face. She is fully alseep when she does this and I have to lay her back down on her pillow and 5 to 10 minutes later she is doing it again. Should I be concerned that she is doing this? She will be starting first grade next year and will have to wake up earlier in the morning to catch the bus, I am concerned that this is making her not get a good nights sleep because when she is awake during the day she is always saying that she is sleepy and will take a nap. She goes to bed at 8pm and is up at 7am. Should I make an appointment with her doctor? HELP!
June 3, 2008, 9:42 am CDT

"Her" room is "our" room


I have some issues with my husbands 9yr old daughter. When she and her brothers came to live with me and their father. Due to a unhealthy situation. They all slept in there rooms. She didn't do that very long. One night she had a bad dream and I let her sleep in me and my husbands room. Now she thinks she has control over it. So much that when my husband is home he has to sleep on the couch because she throws a fit. How can I get her out of it?





September 15, 2008, 10:20 am CDT

Never a sleeper

From the day we brought my almost 4 year old daughter home from the hospital, she was never a good sleeper.  She never napped well, never slept through the night.  She would fall asleep on you but would wake up within a half hour of laying her down.  She would wake up in complete terror and cry so hard that she would throw up.  Her & I started sleeping on the couch together when she was 3 months old and I went back to work.  It's now been over 3-1/2 years and 99% of the time I end up sleeping with her at some point during the night - she still wakes up 2-3 times a night.  I'm convinced that she has restless leg syndrome, as I do, but no doctor will treat it because she's not able to explain it to them.  I know that without my medication I would be up screaming too!  I've taken her to one sleep specialist, answered all of his questions, told him that she sweats profusely at night, seems to stop breathing occasionally, etc., but he refused to go any further into the testing until she was sleeping by herself.  I told him that if we could get her to sleep through the night, that wouldn't be a problem.  His solution is to let her cry it out and if/when she throws up, just clean it up without speaking to her and walk away.  I can't do that to her - I know that there must be a reason she's waking up.  Any help out ther?
September 25, 2008, 11:40 am CDT

sleep issues

Quote From: toni02

Everyone talks about getting their kids to sleep, how do I get myself to sleep. Tried everything. CANT SLEEP. Now it is causing depression, pain in my joints, Brain fag. You name it. I haven't sleep more than 2 hours a night in 3 years. Is here any help out there?


I am the same way. Did you get any answers? I have tried to get help but all they want to give you are medication. Now I cannot go to sleep with out them. I also have depression because of my sleep problem. Brain Fog, joint pain. I haven't been able to get help. How about you?
October 6, 2008, 8:15 pm CDT

My son doesn't feel safe!

My 10 year old son told me that he doesn't like to be by himself anywhere in the house especially at night. It's not that he is afraid of the dark he said he is afraid of people coming in the house. 2 years ago my husband, his step-father, was arrested for possession with intent for meth. He is currently in prison. When my son told me he was afraid of people coming into the house I tried to reassure him that nobody will come into the house. Nobody would want to hurt us, we are good people. He replied with "But dad isn't, dad did bad things". I tried to tell him that all of that had been taken care of. We moved 2 hours away from where we were living with my husband, but my son said that people can find things out, that the people my husband use to be around could find us.

I don't know how to reassure him so he feels safe in his own home.  How do you explain or reassure him that he is safe? What can I do to help him feel safe?

October 7, 2008, 12:06 pm CDT

Sleep Issues

Quote From: jaimie1974

Do you think that it is odd that your husband was arrested two years ago, but your child is just now saying these things? Has there been anything recently that would bring this topic up, or some reason why he would be thinking about things that happened so long ago?
Does your son have the worrier type of personality, tending to worry about things often? (such as grades, if his teacher likes/dislikes him, etc)
Ive had a kind-of similar experience in the way of one of my children being afraid of things that you cant see- my child had a fear of ghosts. What worked best for us- and believe me we tried many things- was taking her to hypnotherapy. I understand what it feels like to have your child be so fearful of something that you, his concerned parent, has no control over. It is a delicate situation, because you dont want him to feel that you are dismissing his feelings.
 My advice for you is to seek professional therapy for your son; it would be helpful to have the guidance of a professional to talk about the bad things his father did, but also to highlight that his father also must have had good traits as well. Also, it will be helpful for your son to hear things like, youve moved, no one wants to hurt you, etc. from an unbiased person instead of from mom- when he hears those same words that youve said come out of another persons mouth, it lends credibility to them. I wish you the best of luck.

My son has brought up the concerns before but never in such detail. I could see the fear in his eyes and it just killed me. We just moved about 2 months ago and yes he is a worrier. He worries about everything all of the time. But, I am the same way so I'm assuming he picks it up from me.

We tried therapy before and didn't have any luck. My son told me that he would rather just talk to me rather than a person that didn't know anything about our family.

As for the good things that my husband has done... well to be completly honest there hasn't been to many of  them. It's hard to defend a person that has caused so much hurt and pain in your life.

The only change lately has been that we moved. And yes, thats a huge change, but we did it for the better. We are closer to our family now. I discussed the benefits of moving with my son before and after we moved.

I'm just so confused on how to react to all of this. Is he doing it just for attenition, trying to get out of bed time, or is there a real problem here that needs to be addressed.

First | Prev | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Next Page | Last Page