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Topic : Teens and Sex

Number of Replies: 621
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:22:25 pm
Author : dataimport
How do you talk to your teens about sex? Share your story.

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March 5, 2008, 7:05 am CST

help

HELLO,

    I'M A MOTHER OF A 15 YR OLD DAUGHER. She is sexually active. She has snuck out window to go have sex with my bestfriends son who lives next door. I'm affraid for her. I have educated her about sex before this even happen and she still did this. The boy is 15 also. Now I feel so much different towards her. I dont have trust for her . She wants me to trust her and how u do that when she has been lying soo much. I dont want to put her on birthcontrol because to me that is giving her the right to go have sex. So please tell me how to deal with this.

 
March 5, 2008, 7:50 am CST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: winter3708

HELLO,

    I'M A MOTHER OF A 15 YR OLD DAUGHER. She is sexually active. She has snuck out window to go have sex with my bestfriends son who lives next door. I'm affraid for her. I have educated her about sex before this even happen and she still did this. The boy is 15 also. Now I feel so much different towards her. I dont have trust for her . She wants me to trust her and how u do that when she has been lying soo much. I dont want to put her on birthcontrol because to me that is giving her the right to go have sex. So please tell me how to deal with this.

No giving birth control is letting her protect herself against pregnancy and STD's which is VERY important because otherwise she might throw away her future and then where are you at.

 

Now you educated her about sex, that's good. But you have to remember that she is a person on her own. You have provided her with information and based on that she has made a decision. I know lot's of girls who lost their virginity at 15 it's not uncommon. their body is ready for it. In the olden days they would've had children by now! (If you wish to read more then please scroll down a bit I explained abstinence in more detail below.)

 

Also you say she has been lying, but why was she lying? If she had been honoust would you have respected her decision? Would you have let her date and/or have sex? Would you have an open mind and open discussion about it? Don't you know you wouldn't have?

 

She is getting older and with that comes sex, you can't protect her from that for ever you can only try to guide and hope for the best. I know that it is not the popular idea in the US but hey it has kept teens safe in the rest of the develloped world. Kinda wierd isn't it, letting them have sex actually is safer, but then it is easier to let them use birth control.

 
March 5, 2008, 12:14 pm CST

My thoughts exactly

 I know many people dont agree with teens having sex but the truth is there is not a single way that we can prevent them from not doing it. The best thing we can do for them is to teach safe sex practices and just give them as much information about it as possible so they can be informed and have a clue about consequences such as diseases and STDs and pregnancy. The best weapon available to us is knowledge but we first have to learn and understand what that means. Also, handing out birth control is a good idea, it deals with the practice of safe sex. Of course we shouldn't just hand it out, there should at least be some sort of parent consent form but the sex education class should be made mandatory by all school districts to make sure that all students are aware of everything that comes with the decision of having sex. The statistics show that abstinence alone is not doing what we were hoping the outcome to be but sex education is a better way to get through the kids. By this way, we can show the kids how they can protect themselves and make better decisions. What the kids choose to do with their knowledge is up to them but at least in the long run we know we helped them as much as we could, as much as possible. My name is Victoria and i am 17

 
March 6, 2008, 8:12 am CST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: proudteenmama

I am a teen mom, however unlike the couple that was on the show a while back I am earning a college degree and will be graduating this year. I also am looking forward to persuing a nursing degree. I was very upset to see teen mothers shown in such an awful way. I love my four month old daughter. She gets a bath every night she sleeps in her crib. I buy her diapers and yes I do have support from my parents. However, I am taking 21 credit hours at the local community college. I am being inducted into my colleges chapter of phi theta kappa on Wednesday. I love my daughter very much, I am so proud of her. I am though, in my eyes a good mother wether or not I am of age to have a kid. I just wanted people to know that even though what the sterotype for people in my situation is not everybody is a bad parent. There are people that come onto this show and are 45 and do horrible things in front of the innocent children. I am seventeen and my daughter is happy,  up to date on all of her immunizations, and is never hungry. I just want people to understand that even though I got pregnant at 16 I still love my daughter and I am still a good mother to her.

                                                                             

 

              good for u girl!i too had my first baby @17 and,he's 22 now.your doing good.keep on going for that degree thats the best u can do for your child.teens are going to have sex we as grown up need to know this and keep ur teens protected .i sworeto my mom i wasnt having sex and i was.i wish iwould have listened but i dont regret my son for nothing. 

 
March 6, 2008, 8:16 am CST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: crisisorchaos

 I know many people dont agree with teens having sex but the truth is there is not a single way that we can prevent them from not doing it. The best thing we can do for them is to teach safe sex practices and just give them as much information about it as possible so they can be informed and have a clue about consequences such as diseases and STDs and pregnancy. The best weapon available to us is knowledge but we first have to learn and understand what that means. Also, handing out birth control is a good idea, it deals with the practice of safe sex. Of course we shouldn't just hand it out, there should at least be some sort of parent consent form but the sex education class should be made mandatory by all school districts to make sure that all students are aware of everything that comes with the decision of having sex. The statistics show that abstinence alone is not doing what we were hoping the outcome to be but sex education is a better way to get through the kids. By this way, we can show the kids how they can protect themselves and make better decisions. What the kids choose to do with their knowledge is up to them but at least in the long run we know we helped them as much as we could, as much as possible. My name is Victoria and i am 17

 

 

                 i agree with you completely!

 
March 6, 2008, 1:24 pm CST

Teens and Sex

Quote From: winter3708

HELLO,

    I'M A MOTHER OF A 15 YR OLD DAUGHER. She is sexually active. She has snuck out window to go have sex with my bestfriends son who lives next door. I'm affraid for her. I have educated her about sex before this even happen and she still did this. The boy is 15 also. Now I feel so much different towards her. I dont have trust for her . She wants me to trust her and how u do that when she has been lying soo much. I dont want to put her on birthcontrol because to me that is giving her the right to go have sex. So please tell me how to deal with this.

I'm kind of disgusted by the fact that you will not put her on birth control. She's already having sex, so you won't stop her. Trust me, you'd be raising the baby if she had one.

She's got the right to do whatever she wants, so make it safe. Some people would say that is bad parenting, but maybe you aren't considering her safety as much as you think you are.

You must know that you can't be selfish when you have a child, and that it's all about your little girl now. This world has changed so much, so we have to be prepared for what we know will happen. We might not want these things to happen, we might be afraid of them, but we have to get over ourselves.

Teenagers DON'T CARE what their parents say. You can't change now, your child knows you as you are. Help her be safe, don't let her ruin her future.

I'm thirteen years old, and I was on birth control for a couple months, because my mom was worried that when the time comes, I won't want to tell her. I appreciate her efforts immensely, I know she cares about my safety and well being. Although I am not planning to have sex until I'm married, I know what's going on. I still have a teenaged brain.

And we're not stupid.
 
March 10, 2008, 7:40 am CDT

relax and talk about it

I would just like to say that I am a student at university, also a waitress at a sports bar to support myself. I would say I am a respectfull person who has goals and ambitions. This teen craze about locking teens up tp prevent what we dont want them to do is so wrong. When I started seeing boys when I was younger, my mom had a big conversation with me about self-respect and protection. She did it without making me feel like she was taking my freedom or making me feel like I was wrong to even think about having sex. She just told me that it was my decision but to make sure that I was ready because girls get their hearts broken if they have sex without really wanting to. My mom said that a boy that truly respects me and truly deserves me will wait till I'm ready because that what  we do when we are in love, we respect the other person. She even shared with me her own experiences. She explained the risks about pregnancy and diseases. The choice was mine, but with the right tools, we make much clearer decisions that suit us a lot better. When I was ready to have sex, I told my mom. She brought me to see the doctor where I got not only the pill, but some more information from professionals. Again, the key to not make me angry and feeling frustrated with all this was to make me feel like its not something to be ashamed and that, in the end, it is my choice !!!!!!!  At 16 I had my first relation and im now 21 and still active. I've always use the pill and the condom wich is almost 100% safe. I 've had one accident but I had the tools to prevent and make things right (plan b pill  and tests at the clinic). I still talk about sex and relationship with my mother and I find myself even giving her advice :P

 

Parents are not our friends and they are not our bosses, they are just parents there to guide us and help us become the best adults we can be. We need education and tools to do that !!!!! Its plain and simple !!!! We need to no how to respect ourself and other.

 

and for school giving out birth control ....quite frankly I wouldnt of had that protection I needed and the professionnal help when I DIDNT want to tell nobody...something we do often when we are teens.

Caged birds always want out !!!!!

 

 Can I just say, that what I like about drphil is the open mind !!!! When he has narrow minded people on the show cant we all have a '' GET OVER IT '' button at home hahahahahahhaha just kidding

 

 

 
March 10, 2008, 1:32 pm CDT

teens and sex

 I think many parents dont relize that teens know a lot more about safe sex then parents did in their time.  As soon as birth control came out no one thought a need for condoms anymore so aids and stds started.  Teens now know that condoms and birthcontrol are needed and many actually get checked at school by nurse or doctor to make sure they are safe and are not caring anything.  No matter what, this is one of thoughs topics where there will always be debate on teen sex
 
March 12, 2008, 2:05 pm CDT

Teens and Sex

Quote From: stefanie0840

                                                                             

 

              good for u girl!i too had my first baby @17 and,he's 22 now.your doing good.keep on going for that degree thats the best u can do for your child.teens are going to have sex we as grown up need to know this and keep ur teens protected .i sworeto my mom i wasnt having sex and i was.i wish iwould have listened but i dont regret my son for nothing. 

I am 17 and pregnant and i admire what you have done with the obstacles youve faced. I know how hard it is and i am not yet prepared for hard it will become but you are an inspiration to teen parents everywhere and i hope my life will turn out to be just as fullfilling as yours. Congratulations on life
 
March 14, 2008, 4:42 pm CDT

the youth ain't as bad as they say...

This appeared in a national Dutch newspaper this week. It is a poll under 500 people aged 16-25.

 

Teens have sex for the first time right before they turn 17 on average. Also 71% has there first time with their partner, 15% with a friend and only 11% has a one night stand. So that is far off from the wild and crazy youth that moralists want us to believe teens are. They have a commited relationship in a majority of cases and only one in ten starts with a one night stand. The age isn't that low either though some teens do start at age 12 (or younger) with sex it only is a small percentage of teens who do.

 

And what about a lot of partners then? Well it isn't as bad as many people want us to believe, 62% has had experience with only one partner.

 

Sex in videoclips doesn't seem to bother our teens either almost 70% says that they are not affected by images in videoclips.

 

Internet on the other hand does have a large influence as 47% uses it to ask a question about sex and 31% to get aroused. a mere 5 percent uses it for sex chats, 3% for finding a sex partner and also 3% uses it to engage in webcam sex.

 

Safe sex is another story though almost 50% says they don't practice it or not always. Reasons vary from having a commited relationship to or having sex with someone whom they know don't have a STD (virgins amongst each other or so?)

 

So these are the results for a demoralized country as some would say. I think that US results would be scarier though.

 
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