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Topic : Potty Training

Number of Replies: 526
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Created on : Thursday, June 30, 2005, 01:08:55 pm
Author : dataimport
Looking for advice on potty training? Share your trials, tribulations, tips and tricks with others here.

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July 16, 2008, 6:47 am CDT

Regression of fully potty trained boy.

I have a son that is now 2 and half.  He was fully potty trained with a oops maybe once in two weeks.  He has been doing really well up until about 2 weeks ago.  He has started wetting himself again, he does not get to the loo on time or manage to tell me on time.  WHen questioned he just shrugs it off.  I have gone through our routine, nothing has changed.  I have asked at the nursery and they can not provide any explanation or tips on what to do.  Should i go back to a nappy or just leave him be?  He refuses to wear a nappy during the day.  I now pack in 6 sets of clothes that all come home wet by the end of the day!  Any advise please??
July 29, 2008, 7:18 am CDT

Do NOT spank!!

Quote From: nikitamarya23

     Hi, my son will be four years old in January and he is still not potty trained. He refuses to tell you that he has to go and refuses to sit on the potty. He hides in his room or goes behind the couch or in a corner when he has to boo boo. Who knows when he pees? I have sat him on the pot in the past and he just held his pee and boo boo. I have put him on pull-ups that should help him know when he needs to go, that hadn't work. I have even put him on regular underwear and that didn't work, that just caused more problems with me. People tell me that I should spank him for messing up in his pamper, people tell me that I should punish him. When I attempted those discipline techniques he got where he wouldn't even tell you that he did anything in his pamper making things worse. So I am at a lost.

Just recently I started dating a man who is very much involved in my son's life and who is trying to help me potty train him. He actually pulls down his pamper and spanks him with a belt (well he did that for the first time yesterday) and said when he pulled him into the bathroom my son was trying to sit on the pot. He was immediately getting after him about why he didn't tell me that he had to go to the bathroom and that he should be sitting on the potty. Just today he was telling me that I needed to seek counseling about my son not being potty trained at this age and that he was going to talk to a Social Worker about children who are in daycare and what age were they potty trained and if they have any children in daycare who are three or older who are not potty trained.

My family states that my son will just come out and tell me at some point when he is ready. He is just very stubborn.

I just read an article on the internet that talks about toilet training resistance which describes my son to the tee'. He knows when he has to go because he goes and hides, but he just will not say anything and he get's angry with you when you ask him if he has to go sit on the potty and he get's angry with you when you try to take him to sit on the potty. The solution that the article gave states to transfer all resonsibility to the child, it states that parents should stop all reminders to use the potty (I thought of that and have tried that). The article also mentions to use incentives to help make your child ask for the potty.

I really need help because I would like to get my son in Pre-school or a three year old class but I am embarrassed to have to tell the school that he is still not potty trained and not only that, I think that him not being potty trained will delay him in school and instead of him being in a three year old class he will have to be placed in a daycare which I do not want to happen. Now that my guy friend is talking about me needing to seek counseling and talking about speaking with a Social Worker about the ordeal, I am now terrified and  fear that something is terribly wrong with my son and that I am not doin anything correctly and so forth. My son already listens to him faster than he does me. I told him to put something up  the other day and he was slow about doin it, but when my friend said what did your momma say he immediately begins putting stuff up. Is my son sexiest? That's a different story.
You should NEVER punish or spank a child for not being potty trained. Not even if you think he/she KNOWS what they are doing or knows how to go potty in the toilet.

You should also NEVER allow your boyfriend to discipline your child in any capacity. You son is looking to you for safety and security. By dating anyone at all you are not providing your child with that critical security. And especially by dating someone who will spank your SMALL child with a belt! You should NEVER allow this. This is NOT OK.

You really should not be dating anyone at all right now. You have a 3 year old human being who is relying on you for comfort, love and security. He is not feeling any of those things from you while your attention is being diverted to your boyfriend.

If you still insist on dating while you are raising your child, please do NOT ever allow him to spank or hit your child in any way. Studies show that the safety of children when their parent is dating someone other than their biological parent is at great risk. Your boyfriend is not your son's biological father. Regardless of how much you think your boyfriend "loves" your son, he does not love him unconditionally in the way a biological father loves and protects his children. It's just human nature. Please reconsider your situation for your son's safety.
August 5, 2008, 1:10 pm CDT

I have The Same Child

Hello, I am a mother of 5 boys (21, 14, 10, 8, and 3).  Of course, my 3 year old is a challenge.  He sounds just exactly like the mom with the little boy who REFUSES to potty.  My son will not look at his pee pee,  he will not touch his pee pee, he screams when i say "do you have to potty",  he runs screaming to the top of his lungs when I try to take him to the potty.  He evens asks for a diaper when his diaper is off or he will go get his diapers.  I have never in my life been through this with my other boys and of course boys are STUBBORN.  He gives that a new meaning.  My son breaks down when he is on the toliet completly.  I have never spanked him(and I do belive in spanking) for not pottying on hisself.  I have not raised my voice to him while trying to toliet train him, because I know its a complete change for him and I must be as gentle and understanding as possible.  Funny thing lately, when I ask him do he have to pee pee - he says "yes, okay".  But, he do not come my way or stop what he is doing to go get on the potty. My son is big for his age so we have to use the big potty.  I have never seen a child who will not pee for hours and as soon as you put on underware( I recently like yesterday stopped buying diapers) he pees.  So I let him run around naked( Thank God for hard wood floors).  When he feels the urge he runs to me screaming "DIAPER , DIAPER".  That comfirms to me that he knows when he has to go but he think he needs to do it in the diaper.  As you can see I havent even tapped into poo poo.  He hides -its that simple and he is so slick about it, by the time I realized he has disappeared he has pooped.  Now he hides to pee because I keep him in underware or naked.  So when I look up theres the puddle.  I have baby gated off the extra rooms to keep him in my view to make sure he dont go up stairs or in the kitchen outside. I have tried the cheerios( he wont look at them)  I have tried to have him go with his brothers, my husband -wont work,  I have tried to let him walk around in the wet clothes and underware -he does not mind being wet. Oh, and when he poops and pees - he does not want to get changed- go figure.  He does not care. HELP!!!!!!  This is beyond the fear of toliet training.  He is out to get me because he is the "baby".  I even stop calling him baby so he would not hear it thinking he is still the baby. I have potty trained other peoples kids along with him. THOSE KIDS ARE FULLY TRAINED AND HAVE BEEN FOR MONTHS NOW.  This isnt right.  Please, I need the suggestions for THE DIFFICULT TO POTTY TRAIN-NOT.
August 12, 2008, 8:55 am CDT

Potty train in one does work!!!!!!

I will reply to my own message.  I have the child who refuses to even look at the bathroom let alone...... I read the Info on Dr. Phil Website Regarding Potty Training in one week.  I really read it for amusement for myself.... I thought what could it hurt?  I actually thought I would try it.  I started Last tuesday after posting my message. 


By Saturday of that week my son would come and tell me he had to "pee pee" and he actually pooped in the potty TWICE.  It is actually one week today and my son has been in underware(no pullups) and been dry during the day.  I do put a pull up on at night(being that we started 1 week ago).  When he wakes up in the morning his pullup is dry.  Now I am in shock because just one week ago he would scream bloody murder if I even said the word potty.(Literally). 


It is very hard to believe that he is on his way and he has not turned 3 yet AND we started last Tuesday.    I really dont have the words to explain how could this be when in fact I knew he was not going to give in.  Actually, I did not give in to him and his screaming. I went out and bought all BIG BOY underware and refused to put a diaper on him after all of his antics.  I stayed consistant through it all and It is just unbelieveable.  My husband cannot beleive it also.  I thought he was going to be the one out of all 5 of my boys who was going to be the hardest - and in all reality it only took 4 days.  ITS A MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!  I wish I had actually read this a long time ago(for fun :) ) I Can say this really works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try it

August 28, 2008, 12:45 pm CDT

Potty Training Help

My son is 3 yrs old and has little interest in potty training.  What makes this worse for me is that his speech is delayed.  How do I potty train a child that speaks very little?  Please help this first time Mom.
September 10, 2008, 6:58 pm CDT


My four year old son is obsessed with everything about the potty.  We visit the potty in stores, at church, at school - basically anywhere we can find one. He is willing to stand and/or sit on the potty when we ask him to; he cooperates and visits the potty during the day at school.  He will "watch" us potty.  Basically he's well aware of what the potty is for and when he goes in his diaper.  So what's wrong here? He NEVER pees (or poos) on the potty!

We've tried everything I can think of cheerios, food coloring, running naked in the yard, rewards, "big boy" underwear, running water, warm water, stickers, books, DVDs (we've memorized Elmo's potty time).  When we talk to him about it, he'll say "later go potty" or "I don't know how."  We adopted him internationally when he was 2 yrs. 2mths. - and I'm afraid we missed the window for optimal potty training time - but that wasn't the most important thing to us when we brought him home.

Also - Unfortunately during the training process, there have been times when he's held it for quite some time, and i know that's not healthy.  He's not a "dramatic pooer" and it's a quick process for him so it's very difficult to catch him and put him on then.   

Any suggestions????
September 11, 2008, 1:09 pm CDT


I currently have custody of my 2 1/2 yr old grandson. We have had him for a year now. About 9 mo ago he was getting the idea of a potty, so we bought him one. The kids he spends the day with are around his age and was interested when they were interested. One of the girls parents stopped training her when she had accidents. Now he doesn't want to go either. He used to tell me that his diaper needed to be changed. Not anymore. He knows when he is pooping, because he "hides".


Some things have changed in our lives, but not major. He sees his mother, but she is just a playdate. There is no "connection" to her. She will start taking him overnights one day on the weekends (keep me heavily medicated while he is gone, please) and I am not sure if she will follow through with potty training? WHAT DO I DO?

October 6, 2008, 10:57 am CDT

I feel the pain, HELP!

 I also have a 4 year old little girl (mild autism) who screams and kicks when we try to put big girl panties on her. If we get them on her she will hold it until she can't any longer or waits until bathtime to urinate.  She won't even sit on the potty, big or little,  most days.   She does understand all the steps in the process and will on occasion go through them.  When sitting on the potty she will keep saying  "pee pee can't come out."  She gets so anxious about sitting on the toilet and then urinates on herself afterward.  Just in the last week , she has taken her bowel movements from her pull-ups and dumped them in the potty.  I guess that is a step in the right direction.  We take her when we go potty and still no interest. She has no interest in stickers or rewards of any sorts.  She doesn't mind cleaning up the mess and loves to clean.  She has a social story about going potty that her DI made when she was younger.  She also has the doll that wets herself.  I'm also out of ideas.  Her GI doctor says to leave her alone and that there is nothing I can do.  She is just not developmentally ready.  We see her regular doctor in a couple of weeks for her 4 year old well check-up and feel that we will get the same advice.  Any positive suggestions are welcome!
November 27, 2008, 10:39 am CST


Help please my 2 1/2 year old daughter is daytime potty trained and has been for the last 6 months she rarely has any accidents, she still wears a nappy at nap and nighttime but as said she is dry throughout the day. I picked my daughter up from nursery tonight and the girls informed me she had wet herself several times in only a couple of hours, they also said this was very unlike her, and the previous day she had been at her Nana's for the day and she had also said she had damp panties a few times throughout the day. Do you think she may have a water infection? I am confused please help.
February 4, 2009, 1:11 pm CST

Must be nice to be the perfect parent

Quote From: serez03

Wow, I can't believe it she is 4 and not potty trained my goodness.  I seems to me you are to lenient on her getting her way all the time.  I don't mean to offend in any way but 4 years old come on. She doesn't need any therapy you need to be consistant on what you do.  I have hree daughters the oldest is 2 and was potty trained at 18 months and the twins are now 18 months are I have started potty training.  They now understand what pipi and CACA (Poop) is and are starting to understand it is not riht to use it on there undies.  I get them on panties when i get home from work and I am constantly asking if they want to pipi and taking them to the potty every 15 minutes until the pipi (urine) is in the potty. piecs of chocolate as a reward if they do and nothing if they don't. 


Your daughter is now 4 years old take her to the potty make her see that she is old enough and how she feels to be in diapers and the other kids in undies. but be consistent.  Have you taken her to the store with her pants wet and tell her how everybody is looking at her wet.  Just have patience and Consistent if you notice she is needing to go to the rest room take her don't let her run over you and get her way.  Kids are very smart and can get you you trained if you are not as stubborn as they are.


Don't give up and keep at it Good Luck! 

I can't believe you could be so judgemental.  I mean, I find it hard to believe that there has not been ONE aspect of parenting that had you completely flustered.  Maybe potty training was a breeze for you and your children, but I am willing to bet any amount of money that you yourself have been at your wits end dealing with some other parenting issues (sleeping thru night, bed wetting, tantrums, refusal to eat, biting, hitting, name calling, getting rid of the bottle/binky, sharing).  And just think of how "wonderful" it would have felt if when you were seeking help, someone were to pass judgement on you. 

I have 2 children.  The first potty trained with no major problems.  My youngest is almost 4.  She never pees in her undies and stays dry all night, but still has  poop accidents.  I have taken her for frequent trips to the potty, and did rewards, and talks, books, dolls that pee and poop, play doh fun factory, special panties, brought her in with me to watch.  But it sadly comes down to, she is simply not ready to do it emotionally.  So I think it would be far more helpful to emotionally support a child and reassure them that they will get it than it is to humiliate them publicly and make them feel badly about themselves.  Very poor advice.  I am sure the mom is under enough pressure from family, friends and teachers, maybe some support would have been nice.





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