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Topic : 08/03 Teen Wake-Up Calls

Number of Replies: 251
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Created on : Friday, April 21, 2006, 10:17:02 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 04/25/06) How do you get through to rebellious teens who think they are invincible? Dr. Phil has advice for parents terrified that their kids are headed down a destructive path. Shelly says that her 15-year-old daughter, Allie, was the perfect child before partying and drinking took over her life. Allie has been cited several times for public intoxication, and also has been caught stealing prescription drugs. Shelly fears her daughter won't make it to her 18th birthday. Dr. Phil introduces Allie to someone he thinks will leave a lasting impression. Then, Kim is scared to death because her 16-year-old daughter, Briana, has sex with older men and doesn't use condoms. Briana was even caught having sex with a 23-year-old in the backseat of his car! Dr. Phil gives Briana a wake-up call she'll never forget. And, a teen who has spent over 400 hours in tanning beds says she’s unconcerned about the health risks. Share your thoughts, join the discussion?

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April 25, 2006, 7:34 am CDT

All people need to wake up

This mom shouldn't have told her daughter that she was a product of rape. She also should do more with her and fill up her empty life with healthy things. She obviously has resentment against her daughter and seeing that she lets her hang in bars and do whatever the heck, I feel bad for her daughter. Treat her like a daughter, that's my advice.
April 25, 2006, 7:40 am CDT

Pain becomes your motivation

Quote From: tripleh

I understand that this is a very serious issue and I understand that it's very emotional but what I don't understand is how do you go through it?

There is so much in life that hurts and people who are hurt, and that pain has to become a motivation for something better. You can't lay down and die, you have to become proactive and work on a positive solution and take it one moment at a time. "Passing through it " is how it should be viewed, not going through it. And sometimes you just have to lay it down and refocus on other things to make it. You have to create a balance that uplifts your life and starts to lift up people around you. It's always hard- if it's easy, you ain't doing enough. It takes massive amounts of love, time and energy, but if you save yourself first, only then will you be able to save others. 

April 25, 2006, 7:42 am CDT

I understand Allie

Allie drinks to be numb & not feel pain.  I cut myself after I was raped & I know alot of girls who did the same thing.  We couldn't feel our own bodies & were able to cut / punch / burn ourselves easily.  I remember people thinking I was really cool & crazy-in a good way, & wanted me to come to all their parties because I had a great reputation for how much I could drink. It became what I was known for & I felt loved.  The cutting is to feel SOMETHING. When you are detached from your body, you are really ungrounded. I quit drinking when I was 21-25. Now I'm 35 & don't drink much.  I would love to talk to Allie. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND what she is going through.  She's nice to her mom & treated that lady she visited with alot of respect & kindness- she's not a jerk or a spoiled brat- she JUST DOESN"T CARE about what she's doing to herself, or whether she lives or dies. Allie if you read this- you can email me at . Dr. Phil, please let me help this girl- it's like I'm watching my past self. I want to teach her about grounding & some other things. Thanks
April 25, 2006, 7:47 am CDT


Quote From: pinkstar18

It kind of makes me sick when people blame things on the parents, my mom was always there for me had the strict rules but I never listened I pushed her away no matter how hard she tried. I wouldn't listen to her or any one I thought I was old enough to make my own choices and I did, and so did all my friends, parents can only do so much then the rest is up to the child. Plus when you that young and someone tells you what to do it only makes you want to rebel more and hate the person who is telling you what to do and thats why me and my mom dont have a relationship now because she pushed to hard and it make me have this feeling like we cant talk anymore .

You are opening this by saying that it makes you sick when people blame things on their parents, but then you are closing it with "that is why we don't have a relationship now because she pushed too hard".  So... point me in the right direction here.    


I agree with you that the choices were yours to make.  Teens rebel, but there are things that parents do or say in front of their children that may have a psychological affect on them.  I am only 20 years old, but what  I have learned and am trying to work through are the things that were affecting me as a teen.  I'm not BLAMING my parents, but I do talk to them about the things that I think affected me.  As a teen your brain is just not fully developed and not able to take some things.    

April 25, 2006, 8:05 am CDT


Quote From: kandkkerr

Oh my gosh!!  You would think with all the warnings out there now that people would have more sense!!  I really hope Dr. Phil can talk some sense into this poor girl before anymore damage is done.  My sister in law has used tanning beds for years and now she appears to be ten years older than she actually is.  Her skin is like leather!!

I agree with the earlier comment.  Where does an 18 year old get 400 hours logged in at tanning beds.  Mom said, she does it behind my back!  How?  In my state, the parent has to sign a release waiver for the teen to tan. My teens can't tan for 400 hours behind my back!  


I use to tan years ago.  At the same time, a coworker of my was tanning.  I got educated and quit.  I hadn't seen her for almost 6 years.  It was in a WalMart parking lot.  I thought, oh my gosh, she is still so pretty and tan.....until I got close.  She looked like leather!!!  We are 38 years old and she looks at least 10 years older when you get within 10 feet of her.   


I bought a Magic Tan for my clothing store last year.  I like being tan too, but the end result is no worth it.  I have an 18 year old customer.  She was diagnosed with skin cancer at the age of 15!  I wish Dr. Phil could have had her on the show.  Maybe his young guest would have listened to a peer who almost lost her life.  She started tanning at 14 too!   


I'm amazed at how many of my customers have had skin cancers or scares from it.  People need to wake up.  Tanning is not safe!!  Why do you think you have to sign a release form in order to tan!  UV free tanning sprays and lotions are the way to go!  All the bronze without the cancer and wrinkles!   


Parents - wake up! Don't sign the forms for your teens.  You will regret it later.  If they aren't smart enough to know the dangers, you are! That's your job!   

April 25, 2006, 8:08 am CDT

Teen Wake-Up Calls

Being fifteen myself, the very idea of drinking or sleeping with older men shocks me. I have no idea what alcochol tastes like and haven't had a boyfriend since 3rd grade (and shall not until I'm eighteen.) 


The girl who is having sex with older men probably lacks a father figure or has severe issues with her father. I don't have a father in my life and enjoy it when older men give me attention (never in a romantic way, I'm talking about the leaders in my youth group.) Unfortunately, these men are nto giving her the fatherly love she longs for because they're just abusing her needs. 

April 25, 2006, 8:31 am CDT

Tanning addiction - may be REAL addiction

 University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston researchers Richard Wagner , Molly M. Warthon and Tatsuo Uchida  have  determined that repetitive tanning behavior may be the product of a kind of addiction.   ( It will be published in Aug 15  in the Archives of Dematology.)

One mechanism suggested by other research is that tanning increases endorphin production, which could be addictive.

I would guess tanning produces a sense of well-being in you teen guest that she can not fully articulate,  and she probably would feel frightened of doing without,  and make up reasons to ignore the danger so she can keep on feeling good.

By the way, your text editor does not work very well with Mozilla Firefox.    You ought to fix that since most people concerned about bugs and viruses have stopped using Internet Explorer.

April 25, 2006, 8:33 am CDT


This girl was 18 years old and said she had been tanning since she was 14.  Do the math 400 hours over 4 years is 100 hours per years.  She also stated that she used an accelerator when she tanned.  I recoginized her lotion and it is made by Designer Skin.  They are a member of the ITA (indoor tanning association) and a supporter of the International Smart Tan Network.     


The average tanner doesn't tan every day...infact they only tan a couple times a week to keep the sunkissed glow.  If her salon is a crediable one  they have talked to her about using a water based (not mineral oil) moisturizer daily at home.  Funny Dr Phil didn't touch on this!     


The following bits of information are found at my tanning salon's web site  ...   




Why tan in a salon?   

Today, all sun-beds and tanning booths used in salons are regulated by the F.D.A as Class II Medical Devices. This means you only get a standardized amount of UV exposure with a mixture of both UVB and UVA rays designed to minimize burning.

The controlled environment and the ability to time your UV exposure to the minute makes burning less likely with a tanning bed than with outdoor sun exposure.




What are the positive effects of UV light?   

While indoor tanning is a cosmetic service, a well-known side effect of exposing the skin to ultraviolet (UV) light is the production of vitamin D. Emerging evidence suggests that there may be an epidemic of vitamin D deficiency in North America. Research also suggests that vitamin D plays an important role in maintaining good health. In light of this evidence, the Indoor Tanning Association believes that the health benefits of indoor tanning deserve further research.    

Europeans started tanning indoors with sunlamps that emitted ultraviolet light as a therapeutic exercise to harness the positive psychological and physiological effects of UV exposure. Long before the first tanning facility was established in the United States in the late 1970's, the practice of visiting a “solaria” for the positive effects of UV light was widespread in Europe, particularly in the sun-deprived, northern countries. Although indoor tanning is considered a cosmetic exercise in the United States, the industry’s roots are therapeutic, and many Americans do in fact visit tanning facilities for that purpose.    

The science of photo biology, which studies the effects of light on life, was founded on studying the positive effects of sunlight. Indeed, the 1903 Nobel Prize for Physiology/Medicine was awarded to Dr. Niels Finsen for his work treating the disease lupus vulgaris with ultraviolet light. While the indoor tanning industry in the United States promotes its services for cosmetic purposes, the fact remains that exposing the skin to ultraviolet light is the body’s primary means of producing vitamin D (which in turn is related to positive physiological effects). Exposure to UV light is also responsible for the production of endorphins and serotonin (which in turn is related to positive psychological effects).   







Oh NO! Don't Tan Dry!

When you tan without lotion your skin dehydrates, starts to look older, wrinkled, and damaged. You may not see the results right away, but aging and damaged skin is NOT the result you want out of your tan!  Why chance it!    


Using a lotion while tanning in a salon is equally important as when tanning outdoors, but operates on a different premise. While tanning delivers the highly desirable color and relaxing benefits that tanners seek, it can be very drying to the skin.

Moist skin tans best! But you have to be careful what moisturizers you use .Throughout the tanning process, it is very important to use an accelerator or intensifying lotion that is specifically formulated for indoor tanning.  To replenish the skin with moisture and nutrients after tanning use a hydrating and skin-repairing moisturizing lotion formulated with ingredients essential for proper skin care and to help achieve a healthier-looking, longer-lasting tan. Indoor tanners should diligently and carefully apply these lotions both before AND after tanning.



Ever wonder why here at Mimi's we say, "No! You can't use that product here?"   




If mineral oil is bad for our beds........ IMAGINE WHAT IT IS DOING TO YOUR SKIN!   


Bluntly stated: mineral oil and petroleum is bad for skin. (Baby oil is PURE mineral oil.)   


These products are known for their bleaching ability.  Ever wonder why gasoline is often used to remove paint?  Ever wonder why artists use mineral oil on their brushes?  Ever wonder why mineral oil is often used to clean tools?  It's because it whitens and releases grease.  It strips your tan and whitens your skin.   


Mineral oil causes your skin to suffer increased photo-aging effects when exposed to sunlight.  (Plus you will burn faster when using petroleum products...and a burn is not a tan),  Mineral oil isn't absorbed into your skin because the molecules are too large.  They sit on top of your skin, clogging your pores, not allowing your skin to absorb water (moisture), and it magnifies light.   


Why do you think tanning lotions and good moisturizers are made with natural oils from food and plants instead of mineral oil from petroleum?   


For example: take a cracker and put it in baby oil.  What you will see is the cracker remains unchanged, it does not get soggy, but in water it falls apart.  Then take a prune or raisin and put it in mineral oil, and you will see that they remain unchanged, but, if you put them in water, they will absorb the water and plump up.   


Mineral oil is man made from crude know, the same stuff they make gasoline from.  Mineral oil is a byproduct from manufacturing when they make gasoline.  Why would you want to use it on your skin?   


It is CHEAPER for manufacturers to use these byproducts as a filler.  98% of all cosmetics use mineral oil, including your eye shadow, blush, lipstick, shaving cream and your everyday moisturizer and lotion you use at home.  It is also used in most SPF sunscreen.  These products increase the photo-aging of the skin...and we wonder why we keep looking older, why our skin continues to dry out, even with all the products we use?   


Your skin wants water and other natural moisturizers - not petroleum products!   






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The Increase in Melanoma: Are Dietary Sensitizers Responsible? by Robert Sayre Read More
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Sunlight Robbery: Health Benefits of Sunlight are Denied by Current Public Health Policy in UK by Oliver Gillie
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A Health White Paper: Vitamin D Deficiency and the State of California prepared by Catherine S Spina, BA and Michael F Holick, Ph. D., M.D.
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Read More... (indoor tanning association) (for info on eye protection)  (designer skin lotions)   

April 25, 2006, 9:10 am CDT

There is no such thing as a perfect child

 I am sorry but I think that a parent who thinks they have the perfect child is setting themselves and their child up for disaster!!! After all they are human and none of us are perfect. I think that alot of what happens in a teens life is due to peer pressure and not having the tools to deal it and as the parents of these teens it is our jobs to help them find ways to deal with these things. I am a true believer in not being your childs friend. I also think that the supervision that a teen gets doesn't mean that you have to hover over them 24/7. There are alot of ways to keep up with what they are doing. Talk to them, you would be very surprised at what they really want you to know if they were given the chance.  If a teen feels like you are really listening to them and you are making them  feel validated and not judged they would probably be more likely to open up before the problem becomes to out of control. There are also alot of things to keep these kids busy so there isn't time for laying in tanning beds, drinking, or having sex. Get them involved in things like sports, or charity work. These are things that give them an outlet and make them feel good about themselves. Get involved with them. This doesn't mean that they are never going to have teenage problems but it will give them other things to occupy their time and they won't be as likely to spiral out of control.    

I know that raising teen girls is hard because I have two in their teens and one on the way and it is very hard to stay ahead of the game with them but you just have to be willing to let them be the first and most important priority in your life. They are the future of this world!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

April 25, 2006, 9:39 am CDT

Briana, I hope you read this.

This show, Teen Wake-up calls, touched me very personally. Now, at 28 yrs old, I've been dealing with HPV (Humanpapilloma virus) for 13 yrs. Briana, there is a lot more to deal with in sex than HIV/AIDS...there are a lot of other viruses out there that will effect your life with just as much force. At 15, I lost my virginity and starting dealing with missed periods. My mom thought I was pregnant or doing drugs. I went in for a Pap at my doctor and have now had more exams on my body than most women twice my age. My body keeps developing dysplasia, abnormal cell growth that eventually leads to cervical cancer. If you deliver a baby during one of these breakouts, your child can get genital warts on his/her vocal chords and suffer for life.  Millions of people have this virus, even the ones who look healthy. I have had two LEEPs (where an electrically charged rod is used to burn your cervix after the cells are scraped off or cut out), my cervix frozen and scraped, two colposcopies(scraping of the cervix with this thing that looks like a bottle brush and your body gives you one long constant cramp because the opening to the cervix is being messed with.) Now, I'm being told I should anticipate a hysterectomy(due to other problems as well), but sex too early in life and natural problems that have occurred have combined to create great problems for me. HPV also causes infertility. Briana, the men who are having sex with you don't give two shits less whether you live or die, whether you deal with a disease for the rest of your life, or if you even care about them. You need to take care of Briana first. I haven't had sex for a few years, but I work everyday, do what I want, spend time with my friends and am happier now than I've ever been. My mom, who was the enemy when I was hurting myself as a teenager, never gave up on me, and today is my best friend. You'll find that your mom will be the only one left to lean on when all the men have zipped up their pants and left you lying in the back seat. I was exactly like you, and there is so much more you could be proud of than putting another notch in your belt. Trust me, when it's all over, your family is all you're  going to have left and they shouldn't have to watch you die from sex.
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