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Topic : 04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

Number of Replies: 152
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Created on : Friday, April 07, 2006, 10:11:35 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
How long does it take to know if you’ve found your soul mate? Years? Months? Weeks? Or could you know in only a few days? Just two weeks after their first date, Katie and Erik walked down the aisle. Did Katie get married so fast just to beat her sister to the altar? And is Erik everything he says he is? Find out what Dr. Phil learned about him through a background check. Then, Lance and Stacia knew each other only three months before marrying. Lance says that simply wasn’t long enough and so, within their first year of marriage, he had five affairs. Now, they are headed for divorce because they say they don’t really know each other. Can this marriage be saved? Next, Darcy is 51 and has been engaged seven times. At one point she was engaged to two men at the same time! Will she ever find love? Plus, Sandra has been engaged six times and married four – and she's barely 30 years old! Dr. Phil shows these guests – and you – how to Love Smart before rushing to the altar. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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April 12, 2006, 11:59 pm CDT

Too Soon

 Mine was an arranged marraige, so I only met my husband twice over the course of a week before we were engaged.  We've been married for nine years now.  I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.  I'm not saying our marriage is bad, we've grown to love each other, but we've had quite a few long hard years.   I think  if  someone has the opportunity to date for a while, they should.  What's the rush?  If it's really love, it will still be there. 
April 13, 2006, 6:05 am CDT

You can find love online

Some of these ladies found real stinkers online, so I hope the discusssions today doesn't start bashing the internet. 

I met my Husband online in Nov 2002, we married in July 2004, and we had our first child in January.  We are just like every other married couple we love each other very much but we also butt heads occasionally. 



April 13, 2006, 6:54 am CDT

lucked out

just wanted to say i lucked out  i met my husband on aug 13 1982 and on nov 20 1982 we were married and this yr will be 24 yrs have 2 beautifull daughters and 2 beautifull grandaughters.. but i dont recomend this to anyone!!  i have know so many who have done this and im the only one still married to the same man and still want to be married to the same man so i thank GOD each and every day that i got this lucky.. 

April 13, 2006, 6:57 am CDT

Engagement Stories

 I can completely understand people's desire to "get married right away".  I've been SERIOUSLY wanting to get married since I was about 14 years old.   I was never intersted in having a wedding or anything like that, I was just interested in being married.

Needless to say I've been engaged more than once.  The first time was when I was a Freshman in Highschool. I was engaged to the guy I had been dating for over a year at the time.  We got engaged on Oct. 18th of that year and we were planning a very LONG engagement.   Even though he was a great person and the first real love of my life things just didn't work out.  We broke up over a year later, but we remained good freinds for many years after, until he got married (his wife didn't approve of our friendship which I completely understand).  At 25 I am such a different person now than I was at 14, because of life experiences (some good and some bad) I know wouldn't have happened if I had married him.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we had gotten married.  I know I would have been happy, but at what cost?  I never would have experienced the things in my life without him that make me who I am.  In the end I have no regrets that things didn't work out with him.

The second time I was engaged was when I was a Freshman in college.  The guy was an old childhood aquaintance (through church).  We attended the same college, belonged to one of the same social organizations and had a lot of the same interests.  We were close friends for about a year before we even started dating.   We got engaged on July 3, two moths after we started offically dating.  The day he wanted to go to the justice of the peace we couldn't find even two of our freinds who were willing to go with us. That told us something right there.   To top it all of were both metnally ill.  He doesn't want kids and I do, and he's extremely superficial and flighty.  So we ended up ending hte relationship about 9 months in.  We didn't talk for about a year, but after that we started being freinds again.  He's one of my best friends, but that's because I don't feel like his shortcomings reflect on me anymore because I'm just his freind, not his girlfriend or wife.

So the moral of my stories is : Sometimes things just aren't meant to be and the only way to tell this is through time.
April 13, 2006, 7:09 am CDT


I agree in some or most cases that couples need to get to know each other before making this important commitment.  However, time to do that is different for different people and God is in charge of the unity. We need to listen to God for his plan in our lives, and he will direct us to happiness with a mate if that is God's decision.  And the time frame is different for each couple.  My husband and I can testify to that.  We met a week before Christmas 1992, and we got engaged exactly a month later; and that following May 15, 1993(4 months later) we got married.  We have been happily married for almost 13 years, and our unity has been instituted by God.  We have a beautiful son that will be 12 this September.  We love each other more and more every day.  I owe our unity to God, and Yes miracle relationships can happen quickly.  In short, quick relationships not always end up a disaster.
April 13, 2006, 7:12 am CDT

Marriage Isnt A Tax Statement

I find it both very amusing and very frustrating as to America's perception of marriage these days. Marriage is an issue of the heart and not a signature on a "license" or a "tax" form. If you are living together--sleeping together--sharing together etc. YOU are married! Marriage IS NOT government or church issued. In the United States you are not officially alive unless you have a "birth certificate"-- not officially dead without a "death certificate" and not offically "married" without a "marriage license" and that is about the goofyest thing I have ever heard in my life. You get a license to drive a car not to sleep with your husband or wife! MARRIAGE is a heart/life choice as is DIVORCE. Lawyers, preachers and judges just love the game and its all rather pathetic. Be good to one another........... 


April 13, 2006, 7:52 am CDT

Been There Done That

Quote From: boioboi

Just wanted someones input.  My boyfriend and I have been going out for over three year and we own a home.  We argue occasionally, but I don't think its anything major.  I am ready to get married, honestly I just think its ridiculous we have been living together for so long (about 2yrs).  I want to get married, even though sometimes I'm just so tired of waiting that I loose interest.  I think its because I'm upset at the moment.  His excuse for us not being married yet is because of the money and he has also uses our arguments as an excuse.  I see them as something normal.  So I'm wondering when I should put my foot down.  How long is too long?

I was with  my ex boyfriend for almost three years, after the second year he did buy me an engagement ring but he still couldn't bring himself to set a date.  He also had a multitude of excuses, none of which would hold water.  I finally said to myself if I am good enough to be a girlfriend I am good enough to be a wife. So I told him to hit road, and a year later I met the man that I am married to.  I knew our relationship was going to work, because we  were constantly moving forward, we moved in together, got engaged about four months after that and got married about a year later.   I just had our first child in January.   It will be painful and you will second guess yourself several times but you will be so much happier in the long run. 

For the record, I am not a young girl!!  I am well in to my thirties. 


Godd luck My Friend 

April 13, 2006, 8:01 am CDT

04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

I dated my husband for 1 month, and we were engaged for 12 days before we married. We have been happily married for 12 years, and we have 2 children. We've had our share of ups and downs like any marriage, but we both knew from the beginning if we said "I do", it would be until death do us part; as we both have very strong Christian convictions concerning marriage and fidelity. It's been fun learning about each other along the way. We are opposites in alot of ways, but we look at it like where I'm weak he is strong and vice versa. I'm glad we did it the way we did!
April 13, 2006, 8:10 am CDT

04/13 Engaged Too Soon!

I made the mistake of getting married only 2 weeks after I had known somebody. After 3 yrs I ended up getting a divorce, because of his heavy drinking, and, well living with his mom as he insisted, we did not have our own place, let alone privacy. He only listened to her, and I was always wrong. The benefit was, my son still has a loving family on his side. My ex wanted to re-marry shortly before his death. He had told me that he has dated and nobody was faithful like I was. They all wanted money. Since I don't feel like I was treated well in my marriage, I was definitely not going for round 2. I see taht I can find out what someone is like in a month's time. Lately, I have benn good at seeing the "red flags". One guy claimed his ex wife held him back, when I found out that he is pushy.  He only cared about what he had to say no one else mattered. He argued with everyone, people at the store, his ex, his boss. He would come over here and try to provoke my pit bull into biting him. He'd be getting all in her face, when she just wanted to be left alone. She grumbled and walked off, but never bit. He could have gotten bitten, as you don't ever get in a dog's face, regardless of breed. The most recent guy I quit associating with said we have nothing in common. He send me a graphic descripiton in an e-mail of all he wanted to do to me sexually, but yet we have nothing in common. (What does Carlos Mencia say? "di-di-doo"!) That guy on the e-mail is retarded. If all he wants is sex, go hire a hooker.
April 13, 2006, 8:19 am CDT

Sometimes Online dating can be good.

Quote From: mistyc

Some of these ladies found real stinkers online, so I hope the discusssions today doesn't start bashing the internet. 

I met my Husband online in Nov 2002, we married in July 2004, and we had our first child in January.  We are just like every other married couple we love each other very much but we also butt heads occasionally. 



An advantage to online dating is that you can see if the other person has similar interests. I have tried online dating and the men I met turned out to be morons. To top it off, I was paying for a service to meet guys who were worse than the guys I met on my own. For me, it was a waste of money. Married guys also get on there pretending to be single. 

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